Difference Betweeen Self-Confident People And Second Guessers

September 2, 2011 by  
Filed under Blog

All people have doubts about their self-worth; from the most successful to the least.  So what is the difference between someone who seems self-confident and someone else who is timid and seems to be always second guessing themselves?

  • First is how people deal with their inner-chatter.
  • Second is the level of importance we give to others and to occurrences

We all have the harsh critic inside whose sole purpose seems to be to put us down.  “You won’t succeed at doing XYZ”,  “Bad things always happen to you, just you wait”,  “You are not smart enough”, “You are not capable enough”, “You are not pretty enough” and so on.

The trick in dealing with the inner critic is to gradually and constantly stop listening to him/her until it becomes just noise.  It sounds easy but it actually takes committing to changing the way we live our lives.  It takes – whenever the voice within starts to scream – to distract our minds and not wallow on its destructive monologue.  It takes substituting the negative with positive aspects of ourselves.  That is what self-confident people do.  They have the critic.  They just don’t give him/her a podium.

The next trick is to realize nothing singularly can destroy or promote us to the inner-circle of the happy and successful.  A life time spans over decades of successes and failures.  Both sides of the coin exist so we can distill the experience into wisdom.  So remembering that no one person or one occurrence has the power to label our lives good or bad will give us a sense of freedom and experimentation.

And lastly having the courage to continue to challenge our own status quo will impress upon us that we can all live outside of a box where statements like: “You are a loser” or “You are stupid” have no place.

Stepping beyond our immediate present and looking at our lives as a life time, will give us the prospective that in the end what matters are the lessons learned – comfortable and uncomfortable – and the love and laughter we have experienced.

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