In Love With Being A Woman

October 26, 2009 by  
Filed under Blog

It’s taken me a long time to say but here it goes: I like being a woman.  I actually love being a woman and it is a good thing because I am a woman.

Until my thirties I was always jealous of men.  I thought they were strong and in control.  I guess I didn’t think I was.  I even used to dream of being a man.  To me men were independent and didn’t have to worry about aging.  I’ve never been into shopping or make up or any girlie stuff and actually enjoyed playing the tough chick, like don’t mess with me kind of a motto. So I thought being a man would have been a better fit.

Somehow in my thirties I started to make peace with being a woman and lessen my need to be a tough chick. I still didn’t totally love being a woman , but I started kind of liking it.  I think one of the things that held me back in completely loving being a woman was how much more interested in a relationship we are than men – which puts them in the driver’s seat.  And in my thirties I was lonely and kept thinking if I only had a prince to save me, all would be well.

Recently though, I have found out that I absolutely love being a woman.  I think I have finally come into my own, which means my own sense of worth and power.  I don’t mean power to dominate but power to be who I am.  I have also realized how much posturing a man does when they are insecure.  They can become so macho like and if you think about it, it is actually quite charming.  So a lot of their strength can be sometimes just a way to cover up insecurities.  We girls don’t need to do that.

Anyway, when you know who you are and what you need you have amazing personal power and that is so attractive.  So as a woman you can actually step back and watch the dynamics that play out – the male/female.

I have not been with another man besides my husband for six and a half years but because I have been and have honored myself as a woman, I no longer have the despair I once had for a relationship.  I now know when I start dating again things will be different.  I now feel a commitment and respect to myself I have never had before.

My aim of today is to be as happy as I can and not think too much about the future and just let it be, like only a woman can.


Connecting The Dots

August 15, 2009 by  
Filed under Blog

I often try to think about our existence in relationship to history and the world at large.  I do that looking to connect the dots and hopefully find more meaning than our routines offer us. 

I’m willing to bet that most of you reading this blog have experienced the game playing of time, the trickster. The never ending years to get to be eighteen years old and then the faster than the speed of light to get to be the age we’re in. 

I am now fully aware that one day I’m going to be an old woman and that day will come sooner rather than later and when it does arrive I hope that I will have understood my existence a little bit better than I understand it today.

Yesterday, I did some reading about love, sex and spirituality.  While doing it I came across the historic evolution of women and sex.  I think that is a very important topic not just for women but for men as well.  When we are in partnerships we want to experience the greatest amount of pleasure and growth in our sexual lives.  So both sides need to commit and it shouldn’t be a job it should be ecstasy.

Yes, it is true that until the 50s (Kinsey) and then 60s-70s (Masters and Johnson) the idea of female orgasm was not widely accepted but if you go back in history when females were the guardians of spiritual things you will find that sexual intercourse in most cases was much more spiritual and ritualistic. 

Today we are all in a hurry.  We don’t have time to relax and connect and end up losing out on a lot of what life is about. 

According to Linda E. Savage Ph.D. ( and author of “Reclaiming Goddess Sexuality” the great problem of sexual experience today is that women try to fit into a male sexual model.  While males can achieve fulfillment quickly through intercourse, women need to be caressed, and our imagination stimulated to achieve fulfillment.  Spending the time without the goal of having an orgasm is often more satisfying to women than the orgasm itself.

I know to my husband giving me pleasure was often more important than achieving his own.  With him I finally had found someone who truly was not in hurry and loved being with me thus our love making was special.

So I’ve gone around the world in my thinking to come to the point I want to make which is we need to be conscientious of our existence.  We need to connect the dots with history and we need to slow down otherwise one day we will wake up old and wrinkled and wonder what happened.