The Real Difference Between Love And Dysfunction

July 16, 2010 by  
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heart in hands

It’s so amazing how we are addicted to chaos and dysfunction.  When I was younger I thought if people loved each other they fought, screamed, yelled and then in a fit of passion made up with each other.  That concept of love was partially baked at home but the icing came from watching soap operas, films and the headlines of newspapers and news programs.

I had my first boyfriend when I was thirteen.  It was an innocent relationship and we stayed together till I was seventeen.  But when I had my first argument with him, I actually spat on his face.  I didn’t plan to, but somewhere in my mind, I thought that would really show how much I loved him. Read more


Keeping An Eye On Our Ego

April 30, 2010 by  
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Here’s another devastating side-effect of the ego; I know everything and therefore I don’t need to listen to anyone and so I stop learning.

When I was in my early twenties I spent some time with a man who was incredibly smart and well read.  But he had a problem; he thought he was leaps and bounds smarter than anybody else so he never dialogued with anyone.  He only “monologued”.  A couple of years later this man and I went our separate ways and I didn’t see him for four years.

In the four years I didn’t see him, I continued to ask questions and to listen to what others thought and had to say.  So when I saw my old boyfriend to catch up, I found myself sitting in front of the same man I had separated from four years earlier.  He said the same things and thought the same way.  He then didn’t seem so smart and well read anymore.  He seemed like a man who had become stuck because he thought he knew it all.

A certain dose of ego is healthy in the sense of allowing us to assert ourselves without fear.  But ego that wraps pride around itself  is terminal as it kills the self.

I like to keep my ego in check and so I often ask myself when my feathers get ruffled if I’m justified or if it is my ego feeling frail.  If it is the latter, I tell myself: “pipe down, it’s for your own good.”