Learning How To Control Anger

August 13, 2010 by  
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Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned – Buddha

Character isn’t inherited. One builds it daily by the way one thinks and acts, thought by thought, action by action. If one lets fear or hate or anger take possession of the mind, they become self-forged chains – Helen Douglas

I have always known that anger and resentment hurt more the person having the feelings than the reason and/or target.  It always made sense to me but as I try to find different ways of being and living my life that has become the absolute truth.

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Step Aside For Anger

October 14, 2009 by  
Filed under Blog

Anger, I know it so well.  I lived with it for a very long time and have claimed it as a kin of mine.  It got my heart rate and blood pressure up, and it got my adrenaline, and noradrenaline up.  .  “Never” and “always were our code words and justified our relationship.  When we were at our best we felt invincible.

I have had plenty of reasons to offer anger room and board; I’ve tasted violence, discord and greed and I have felt powerless.  When I first met anger it offered a resolution for my problems.

Anger fueled my life until the curtain came down in the final act of my Cinderella story, where all that was most important to me was taken away.  But somehow it was then that I realized anger had taken too much space in my life and actually had overturned everything that had crossed its path.  So I opened my door and asked it to leave.  But anger is a sly thing and did not want to go without a fight.  But I was done fighting. So I left my door open and turned my back on it.

So if you see my homeless anger walking around, please don’t take pity on it and heed my advice; stay clear and offer it no shelter.  Do not fall for its empty promises of getting things done and making things right, it is all an illusion.  Do not let anger be comfortable in your life.

Trust me when I tell you nothing is free in this world and anger’s price is high.  It asks for your heart.

So step aside and let anger walk by and then make friends with anger’s enemies: compassion and understanding and when you do so you’ll finally get things done in the right way and you won’t have to look all around and have to make room in your life as well for anger’s favorite partner in crime, regret.

“What was my body to me? A kind of flunkey in my service. Let but my anger wax hot, my love grow exalted, my hatred collect in me, and that boasted solidarity between me and my body was gone”.  - Antoine De Saint-Exupery (author of “The Little Prince”).

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