Learning To Accept Others As They Are

October 12, 2011 by  
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I would like to share the article I’m posting below.  It discusses how much sadness and difficulties we create for ourselves because we don’t accept things as they are.

In the article Judith describes the situation of a client of hers who struggled with an unsatisfying relationship with her sister her entire life.  The client described to her trying a number of different methods and approaches in order to create some type of relationship. But all her attempts failed because while the client was interested in figuring out how to co-exist and communicate, the sister wasn’t.

As sad as this conclusion is, it is also the truth.  We cannot change how others think and feel.  Everyone is entitled to their point of view. Now, spending enormous amounts of time trying to change others is our waste of time.

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Anyone Can Find Contentment Today

August 19, 2011 by  
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Posted below is an interesting post about the meaning of life. The central idea is there is no meaning out there to be found, but only the meaning we make.

I fully agree with the post. You can give two different people a set of circumstances and they will feel and react differently.  One person might find meaning in the situation.  The other may not.  So what makes these two people feel differently? Who they are.  What they bring to the experience.

Meaning is a very personal experience. I may find meaning in writing while someone else could experience it as sheer hell. That is why no one can tell another how to live their lives in order to find meaning and contentment.  Actually to me meaning equals contentment.

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Why Embracing Grief Is The Only Way Out Of Loss

March 27, 2011 by  
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I believe one the hardest feelings we deal with when grief strikes, is the overwhelming sensation of loss.  Loss means we had something which we no longer have.  Initially, there is nothing positive about it.  But, if we are to heal and to change as human beings we must embrace the loss and transform it.

I remember when my husband passed away how I kept saying to myself and others; “There has to be something positive out of this incredible pain.  If not, it is complete devastation and I may not survive.”  I soon found what was positive for me out of all that I had lost; it was a deeper understanding of love, life, compassion and empathy.  As well as becoming more comfortable in my own skin.

Less than I year before from my late husband’ passing, I started the Love Project Inc., a book of our history together and I also added a number of social causes to my agenda.

When we hurt we can either stay in pain and anger or we can turn our scar into a new way of being.

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Here’s To A New Era Of Being And Living

March 1, 2011 by  
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Angie Rubin Photo

James Hillman — psychologist, scholar, culture critic, and author of more than 20 books, including the bestselling “The Soul’s Code” — is one of the modern era’s most original thinkers on the human and collective psyche.

On an interview by Pythia  Peay posted on the Huffington Post a couple of days ago, Hillman discusses a new era of being and living that is bubbling underneath the old and failed post-modern models.

Living in America we get to experience the extreme of some of these crumpling structures; capitalism and the end of this country’s notion of exceptionalism.

There is no doubt the world as we know it has come to an end a new model will emerge.  What is different about this new model is that it will challenge us to live life as a circular experience not as a staircase model – inflexible hierarchy.

How does that impact us at an individual level?  Absolute truths are being challenged such as: If you are rich you are happy.  Power brings sense of worth.  Freedom means only the ability to say and go anywhere I want.

If you are reading this, is because you too are in search of a new way of being.  You have tried making the money, being powerful, exercising your strength over others, and failing with each attempt to truly find meaning and freedom.

I recently saw a live performance written and directed by Moisés Kaufman – 33 Variations – where the character played by Jane Fonda is suffering from Lou Gehrig.  Towards the end she says there is great freedom in the loss of hope.  That statement really stayed with me.  While it sounds like a downer at first sight if you delve into the deeper meaning you will find truth; the freedom that comes with turning our attention to the world within.   Like a tree finding truth in the roots and not in the branches.

Please read on…

Now approaching his 85th birthday, I spoke with Hillman as he was recuperating from two years of illness. “It’s a new life,” he told me. “A lot of reflection instead of ambition.” The American psyche has always stoked Hillman’s reflections; the following is the second half of an edited version of our conversation on the current zeitgeist.

Pythia: In our initial conversation you said that America today has a certain “tragic aspect.” Can you say more about that?…Continued

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Beyond Feelings Of Wrongdoing And Rightdoing

February 26, 2011 by  
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Photo by Angie Rubin

The great poet and theologian Rumi, said “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”

That’s the gist of Anne Naylor’s post.  To find ourselves at an evolutionary point where feelings are neither good nor bad; they just are.

Having feelings and emotions is part of being human.  Being dominated and controlled by them is neurosis.  We cannot stop feeling and we cannot become different people.  But we can allow the emotions and thoughts to exist without bowing down to them.

If we don’t underline and hang on to the negative emotions we actually have the possibility to turn pain and discomfort into something more fulfilling.  Grief, the ultimately negative experience, if allowed to exist can teach us about empathy, compassion and letting go.

When I lost my husband I kept thinking that pain and loss could not be all that was left of him.  As I allowed my grief all the space it needed without clamming to it and berating myself, I found the wisdom of acceptance.

Loving acceptance of our vulnerability and insecurities bring us emotional freedom.  And with that compassion for others.

—–

Can We Be Emotionally Free?

By Anne Naylor

What would life be like without emotional burdens like anxiety, depression, guilt, rage, self-doubt and shame? What does it mean to be “emotionally free”? Is it possible? Is it even desirable?

Part of the tool kit with which we human beings are born are our emotions. They must serve a purpose, or we would not have them. So far, so obvious. What would life be like without love, passion, enthusiasm, joy, excitement, exuberance, compassion, empathy or frustration, anger, resentment, envy, jealousy, greed and fear? Positive emotions serve to move us forward and expand our horizons. Negative emotions can trap us in a miserable downward spiral of hopelessness and despair…Continued

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Can’t Find Love? Here’s Why

January 26, 2011 by  
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Just found the below post on Huffington Post.  I like its direct approach as to why most of us don’t seem to be lucky in love. Marnie, the writer, points the finger back at us.  She poses the question; how can we find fulfilling love if we start of from a place of fantasy and personal confusion?  And I couldn’t agree more.

How can we have a satisfying relationship if we pick partners that will only reenact time and again our own neurosis?  That is not to say that we have to be “perfect” to find a partner and share a healthy and fulfilling relationship.  But there are a few musts:

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Building Strong Bonds From An Early Age

January 10, 2011 by  
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The below Huffington Post by Mark Hyman touches on many significant topics including the importance of family bonds on our future relationships and the value of good nutrition.

While growing up in Brazil, my mom, sister and I, always had lunch together.  At dinner time we were joined by my dad. There was no TV and of course no texting.  We sat together, ate, and talked. We created family bonds.

This was so important to my family that even when we had serious arguments and didn’t want to see each other, we sat together at the same table.  I remember once when I was eighteen years old and had a big argument with my dad.  We didn’t speak for months, but we sat at the table together every night. From that I learned that people can have disagreements but if we love each other we must find a way back to the relationship.  I learned not to walk away.

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Want To Be Happier?

November 28, 2010 by  
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Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans – John Lennon

Below is an interesting post on today’s Huffington Post on the topic of living life in the present.

The post discusses our two ailments; 1 – Either hung up on the past or planning for the future and 2 – Seldom bringing our attention to the moment we are living thus often wasting the experience.

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The Close Relationship Between Work And Well-Being

November 18, 2010 by  
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Found the below article on today’s Huffington Post.  It talks about a shift in what people are looking for in terms of work.  Whereas in the past financial compensation and power were key, today a certain amount of freedom and meaning are top of the list.

I think it is an interesting discussion because it points back to what we discuss on this site; that purpose and well-being exist in the exploration of ourselves and the relationships we establish with others and our environment.  The illusion that money and power alone could provide for happiness is being shown for what it is; short-sighted.

Many of us are pushing back to the higher demands being placed on our time and attention and are purposely carving out time for friends, family and solitude.

If you have the luxury to choose the line of work you can perform, than finding something that is more in line if you ideals of well-being should be something to pursue with enthusiasm.  After all, work has an intimate relationship with meaning.

Read on.

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Nothing To Fear In Solitude

November 8, 2010 by  
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People that know me or who have been reading my posts know how much I appreciate my solitude.  The days I carve out time to be with my own self, are glorious.  On those days, I get to calmly listen to my inner thoughts and I get to indulge in the simple things that make me happy.

Solitude is energy building.

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