Curb Your Expectations And Live Better

December 3, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

Curbing our expectations allows for true living.

“What was really needed was a fundamental change in our attitude toward life. We had to learn ourselves and, furthermore, we had to teach the despairing men, that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us.” – Viktor E. Frankel (neurologist, psychiatrist, writer, concentration camp survivor)

Expectation; the act or state of looking forward or anticipating.

While driving to a Christmas party yesterday, I started to go through in my mind different scenarios I hoped would happen at the event.

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5 Intuitions About Love And Sex You Shouldn’t Ignore

July 5, 2010 by  
Filed under Featured

Saw the below post today and thought would make a good companion to my yesterday’s blog post The Fine Line Between Loving With Our Entire Heart And Losing It.

In my post I discuss the choices we make as we enter any new relationship.  Should I jump in with my heart first or should I spare it? I concluded by saying, jump in with an open heart and live the moment as fully as possible.  BUT also know how much is our own imagination and needs at work, that it can be short or long lived, and will not solve all our emotional needs.  Intuition, as discussed below is a very important part of the equation as well.  Staying in touch with ourselves allows us to set limits.   Read on an share your thoughts.

by Judith Orloff MD

When we’re looking for love (or under its intoxicating influence), we often miss seeing extraordinary signs and messages that pop up in our daily life to give us clues as to whether we’re on the right track. However, if you can slow down enough to recognize and listen to your intuitive intelligence, it can reveal truth, warn you of danger, or help you understand people and relationship situations in new ways. From my book Emotional Freedom, here are five types of intuitive experiences you may encounter, and what they can teach you about your love relationships.

  1. Body signals
    Your body has many ways of getting your attention. It could be goosebumps when a date feels just right or says something about you that rings “true.” Or it might be your hair standing up on the back of your neck when a creep replies to your online dating profile.How to use it in romantic relationships
    Most commonly referred to as a “gut reaction,” your body’s response to the world around you is often instant — quicker, in fact, than your conscious thought. Next time you sense your body is trying to alert you to something, check in with it. Are your shoulders tense? Is there a knot in your stomach? Or do you feel energized and excited? When you learn to read your body signals, a whole new type of information will be available to you. What’s more, you may be able to avoid getting involved with destructive, unhealthy lovers, or be curious to pursue a really good guy who, at first blush, doesn’t seem to be your “type.” …Continued

Follow Your Dreams With Gusto

April 22, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

cloud_thumbWhile I often write about living in the moment, surrendering (please don’t confuse with giving up), I’m also all for pursuing what you want in your life with as much energy as you can muster.

I’m not one to say “lower your expectations and you’ll have a happier life” because I’m someone who has always had big dreams.  There has never been anything I have wanted to do that I though it was outside my ability.

If someone can do something that means to me, that I can too.  But for many years this attitude brought me a lot of discontent because I concentrated so much on achieving my dreams and goals that I didn’t enjoy the process.  Some of my goals have been really lofty and brought many disappointments and so because I wasn’t enjoying the present and only obsessing with the future, I was unhappy and frustrated.

So I had to make an adjustment in my life.  I could still have my dreams and goals and they could still be as lofty as my imagination could create, but I had to make the journey be the focus and not the result.

I still think I can do anything but my life is happening in the present and the journey is now more important than the end result.


Are You Really Ready For Love?

April 19, 2010 by  
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featured_1Most of us say we are looking for love.  But are we really?  Or are we looking to cast someone in a role we have developed in our imagination?  Are we looking for the classy man who will defend and saves us?  Or the beautiful woman who is nurturing and sexy?  And once we’ve cast the part, we’ll live happily ever after without ever having a fight or a problem? That’s not being open to love that’s being ready for a casting session.

Loving someone means loving them for who they are; strengths and frailties.  It is respecting them as people who like us struggle to make sense of life’s complexities.  It is also living in the present.

The first step to really being able to fall in love and be in a good relationship starts with loving ourselves.  No knight in shinning armor can rescue anyone and no super hot girl can compensate for a bruised ego.  We rescue our own selves and we build our own egos.

As we learn who we are and embrace all parts of ourselves we learn to love others as well.  Being there for ourselves and having our own backs allows us to be whole and able to truly share with someone else.

So take the time to get to know you.  Feed your heart and soul with small pleasures that give you contentment, ask yourself what is really important to you, slow down and concentrate on life as its happening not as you imagine it should be,  laugh as much as you can, and as you are busy living, life will happen to you.


Airports; Good Sanctuaries For The Soul

October 2, 2009 by  
Filed under Uncategorized

It’s funny how certain things trigger the memory, and send the imagination off on pleasant tangents. A private jet flew over the moon tonight, its red and green lights flashing through the clouds. The red and green of those lights took me back in an instant to my childhood room, which happened to be in the flight-path of Laguardia airport, and was like a front-row seat before the spectacle of giant airliners swerving in on their approach. I’m quite sure I’m not exaggerating when I remember them flying right by my 7th story window. But memory is like that, magnifying and minimizing and filtering experience as suits its narrative game.

That memory in turn, transports me to another in which I am at an airport, transfixed by the roar of turbines and large machines, watching wide-eyed as jumbo jets taxi on the runways under glaring lights.  I am 5 or 6, a visitor is departing, I can’t remember who. I am in a state of delighted awe at the loudness of this landscape, noisy with light and sound and motion that pushes the night backwards into the surrounding darkness. A sphere of humming activity in the hours I associate only with sleep. It is the place where people go to depart this world, where they are launched toward the faraway shapes of color that appear on maps.

Airports still strike me as good metaphors for the journeys and the points of transit that the human soul must eventually embark upon. Flat open spaces with good visibility, allowing for infinite views. Large sanctuaries for the souls that have gathered there to wait for unseen forces that will carry them off.

The landing sites for alien ships that people transpose onto desert buttes are also metaphors for the sacred places where their souls will wait for their god to come at the appointed time and pick them up and shuttle them into the next world. Points of transit between this world and the landscape of their dreams. Which is also a good description for the transporting powers of those memories that take us almost all the way back to places near the beginning.