Learn To Shut Off The Destructive Inner-Dialogue

July 16, 2012 by  
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There is nothing like being a writer to test one’s self-confidence and one’s ability to shut off the destructive inner dialogue.  It is just the ultimate.  Why?  You start by staring at a blank computer screen and then you type the first few words.  At the end of your work day, you start thinking back to the world you are creating with its characters and situations and most often than not the question “have I lost my mind” pops up.  Next, it will be phrases like “this is awful, what was I thinking?, I’ll never work again.”

But, somehow – if writers are actually to work again – they have to find the discipline, courage and inspiration to keep going.  And let me tell you, it is a daily battle.  After all, a writer is an absolute creator who has to trust his or hers creativity in order to create.  A writer’s work starts with them and its 100% their creation.

So, it is possible to continue to plow forward even though thoughts of I’m not good enough do their best to take over our lives.  It is a matter of being more in love with what we want to do then a victim of the evil inner dialogue.  It is also a matter of saying: Maybe I’m not good enough, but I’m going to do my best and get to the end of whatever I’m doing and then we’ll see what happens.

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Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

July 14, 2012 by  
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Sometimes, I really think I have two brains.  One, my lower brain, which gets upset with the small stuff and is often a victim of anxiety, anger and frustration.  The other, my higher brain which listens to the lower, but doesn’t get embroiled in any of the issues the lower brain does.

Basically, the lower brain keeps our nose to the ground while the higher brain lets us see the big picture.

Growth comes from listening to the higher brain which has the ability to stop the obsessive inner-dialogue of the lower brain.  It understands thoughts like: “he/she didn’t call, I must not be important enough, I didn’t get XXX, I must be really stupid etc.” but it doesn’t become a victim of it.  Quite the contrary; it understands the pain and confusion, but instead of letting us be stuck in the muck, it offers us a grander view of our own lives.  It asks us to take a step back.

The higher brain is a byproduct of our wisdom.  Better yet. It is its pro-active side.  But, it takes time and discipline to allow the higher brain to take over, because our lower brain is so busy being compulsive, attached, and resentful, that in the beginning a fierce inner-struggle is certain to happen.

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Thoughts On Self-Forgiveness

November 19, 2011 by  
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Self-forgiveness.   Now that’s a tough subject for me; the acceptance of being human which translates into the acceptance of not being perfect.

I’m not quite sure where it all started up for me but I have always hurt when I have fallen short of being perfect.  Of course in black in white even I can see the impossibility of success.  But we are not talking black and white.  We are talking psyche.

Maybe the need to be perfect comes from a compulsive sense of responsibility; if I don’t say or do the right thing then all things can fall apart and I don’t want that.  And if that happens, it will all be my fault.

It’s interesting to try to figure out the source of such feelings but it isn’t mandatory in order to change the way we feel and behave.

In my case it started with a continuous dialogue with my own self.  “I am not responsible for everything that happens.”  “In any situation or relationship, the outcome is the result of the inter-action of all involved.”  “There are things that even though I wish them to be different, I am powerless to do so.”

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