Thoughts On Self-Forgiveness

November 19, 2011 by  
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Self-forgiveness.   Now that’s a tough subject for me; the acceptance of being human which translates into the acceptance of not being perfect.

I’m not quite sure where it all started up for me but I have always hurt when I have fallen short of being perfect.  Of course in black in white even I can see the impossibility of success.  But we are not talking black and white.  We are talking psyche.

Maybe the need to be perfect comes from a compulsive sense of responsibility; if I don’t say or do the right thing then all things can fall apart and I don’t want that.  And if that happens, it will all be my fault.

It’s interesting to try to figure out the source of such feelings but it isn’t mandatory in order to change the way we feel and behave.

In my case it started with a continuous dialogue with my own self.  “I am not responsible for everything that happens.”  “In any situation or relationship, the outcome is the result of the inter-action of all involved.”  “There are things that even though I wish them to be different, I am powerless to do so.”

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What Forgiveness Really Means To Our Mental Health

April 19, 2011 by  
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I just came across the below post by Marina Cantacuzino.  In it she discusses the nature of forgiveness and the dangers of forgiving too easily.

One of the definitions I found on the web for forgiveness is: “Forgiveness is typically defined as the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, and/or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.”

I believe the process of forgiveness starts with an internal journey which results in acceptance and then translates into forgiveness.  I believe this to be a process that’s necessary for the victim to survive and to move forward.

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Nothing To Fear In Solitude

November 8, 2010 by  
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People that know me or who have been reading my posts know how much I appreciate my solitude.  The days I carve out time to be with my own self, are glorious.  On those days, I get to calmly listen to my inner thoughts and I get to indulge in the simple things that make me happy.

Solitude is energy building.

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Give Me One Good Reason For Why Not

August 16, 2009 by  
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Today a friend asked me if I had read “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert.  I said no and then went on the internet to find out more about Elizabeth and her book.

Her book is about her one year journey through Italy, India and Indonesia after a nasty divorce. 

I was immediately in awe of this woman.  After my husband passed away I had thoughts of going on a trip by myself to places I had never been before but my sense of responsibility and need of personal achievement together with a sense of having to be physically present in order to control outcomes, kept me from going.

I decided then and there I needed to buy this woman’s book.  Here was someone that had been able to do something I had not.  So while I wait for the book, I went on her site.  Her website www.elizabethgilbert.com contains a page of 10 frequently asked questions about “Eat, Pray, Love”.  I clicked the link and started to read the questions and the answers.  An excerpt of the answer to the question below is what made me write today’s blog.

2) WERE YOU EVER WORRIED THAT TAKING A YEAR OFF TO TRAVEL AROUND THE WORLD WAS A SELFISH ACT?

What is it about the American obsession with productivity and responsibility that makes it so difficult for us to allow ourselves a little time to solve the puzzle of our own lives, before it’s too late?

Even though I intellectually understand and agree with what she says I can’t imagine, at least at this moment, to do what she did.  I’m not even thinking about the financing involved in a year long trip.  I’m only thinking of how much it would make me feel out of control – like if I’m actually controlling anything – and how much it would make me feel like I was goofing off while the rest of the world was trying to get ahead.  But the truth is that in such a trip what one can actually experience is a voyage; a journey unto oneself and the world at large.  Is there anything more important than that? 

So, I hope one day I feel at peace enough that I can give myself the permission to experience the world without an agenda.  To me that would be a true mark of my own personal growth.

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