Marching Through Changes

June 23, 2010 by  
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Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations.  ~Faith Baldwin

Change is unsettling, even if it’s for the better.

We get use to anything, even pain and hurt, and somehow what we know – even if it false – makes us feel secure and gives us some type of referential in life.

My conversation yesterday during my therapy session was about a particular change I’ve been going through the last few years.

Years ago, to cover up my insecurities, I started acting tough.  I remember going to parties and standing in a corner with an attitude that said; I’m too good for this and that’s why I’m standing here looking tough.  The truth was that I was too scared to connect with strangers.  It wasn’t that I sat down one day and decided to start acting tough, it just happened.  But I’ve always also been a very kind person so I started to live in conflict between who I was and how I was presenting myself to the world.  In my tough phase I also found people that supported my behavior.  They too were insecure.

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Sometimes Its Not About Being Shady But Shy

June 5, 2010 by  
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EYE-4

I have always been guilty of making assumptions about people’s behavior based on feelings I pick up around them.

Now, I’m unusually sensitive to other people’s body and emotional signals but can get myself in trouble when interpreting them.  The reason is when trying to understand someone else’s behavior – let’s say a discomfort in looking others in the eye – we may interpret that as shady but the reason might be shyness.  The manifestations for both behaviors (shady and shyness) are the same but if we are using our own  understand and practices to interpret someone else’s attitudes, things can go the wrong.

Another action we might take is interpreting other people’s behavior is to turn it to be about us.  He or she is not looking me in the eye because he or she is trying to avoid me.  I wonder what I have done.  Am I not smart enough?  Interesting enough?

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