To Tell With Pride How One Lived

October 6, 2010 by  
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Angie Rubin

I always watch a little television when I go to sleep.  So last night I got to watch the end of “The Last Samurai”.   Ken Watanabe plays a Samurai who gives up his life for a cause while Tom Cruise learns about love, honor and commitment.  In the last fight in the film, Samurais against Japanese soldiers trained by Americans, Ken Watanabe dies but Tom Cruise who had joined Ken, survives.  Tom then takes the Samurai’s sword and gives it to the Japanese Emperor.  With the sword and the death of the Samurai, the Emperor finally understands he needs to honor tradition and asks Tom Cruise: “Please tell me how he died.” To which Tom responds: “I will tell you how he lived.”

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Slowing Down For Self-Love

June 3, 2010 by  
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heart on the beach

heart on the beach

I’ve always wanted to do important things.  I don’t know where that came from but since I was a little girl I felt the pull for something “big”.

As I grew up that inner feeling turned into inner drive and some of my desire to do “big” things started to be associated with career success.  All of that would have been fine if I along the way didn’t loose – or maybe I never had – the ability to appreciate qualities and accomplishments of mine that I didn’t judge by the same standards I considered material success.  That was my loss and the result; a steady decline in self-esteem.

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What Writing Means To Me

December 11, 2009 by  
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Meaningful writing comes from experience.  Not necessarily writing experience – although it doesn’t hurt to write often – but from life experience; to have lived enough to have something to say and to have enough humility to be honest and to want to share.

I have never written as much as I have been writing since a great loss in my life.  I now, more than ever before, feel compelled to share my own transformation.  To me what is the point of living, experiencing life if not to share with others?

There is the thinking that to be a great artist one needs to go through a lot of pain and stay in it.  I don’t agree with the quick sand thinking but instead believe in embracing life with all its experiences.  One doesn’t need to be stuck in pain to know it.

I don’t consider myself a good writer in the traditional sense of beautifully orchestrated phrases but I do consider myself an honest writer.  I am willing to share.  When I was younger I wanted to share because I was an exhibitionist (my life has never been subdue), now I want to share to give meaning to my own life.

I have no idea why every one of us at one time or another experiences loss.  I have no idea if there is a purpose to human life beyond its short existence.  I find solace in sharing, in writing, so maybe you and I can walk together and know we are part of a community;  the human community.

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