How To Be Alone

August 14, 2010 by  
Filed under Video

Beautiful and Inspiring.

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Don’t Forget To Put Your Own Oxygen Mask On First

September 30, 2009 by  
Filed under Blog

Years ago I heard for the first time the flight instruction of “put on your oxygen mask on first in case of an emergency before helping others” applied to “normal” life.  Since then I have thought of it often. 

At first there is the reaction, ‘How selfish! Saving yourself before others” but than the realization comes that if you don’t save yourself you can not save anybody else.

Mastering this concept and walking the fine line between it and actually being a selfish person is a life time effort.  We are often pushed into situations where exercising our rights and space is put to the test on a regular basis.  Let me give an example of an extreme case, like illness.  Someone we love is sick and needs us.  How much of our time and energy do we give before we have nothing left?  What about “if you love someone you should be willing and able to just give and give”?  The first thing a social worker tells a caretaker is to make sure they take care of themselves because if they don’t they will run out of steam and won’t be able to care for their loved ones.

And what about in our daily lives when we’re not in a state of emergency and its not so clear how much is too much?

If you are like me, you think “I’m really strong and I can take more than most people, so it is easier if I just make it okay for the other people while I take on whatever needs to be dealt with”.  My thinking might sound noble for about half a second because in this thought process what I’m leaving out is; what about respecting myself?  What about the fact that eventually I’m going to burn out?  And what about that for sure sooner or later I’m going to start resenting the people and/or the situation?  What about what I need?

I don’t think there is any fast and bullet proof equation to deal with this conundrum except to listen to oneself.  Quiet down and if something doesn’t feel okay it is because it probably isn’t.  If you are on a quest for a deeper more meaningful life your inner self will always give you the right answer.   And guess what, as you feel more content you will be able to impact others around you in a much more positive way than if you were exhausted from saying “yes”  and “what can I do for you?” all the time.

So join me on respecting the law and putting on our own oxygen mask on before putting it on others.

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No False Gods

August 17, 2009 by  
Filed under Blog

Today I came across a very interesting interpretation of a bible saying: “Thou shall have no false gods before me.  No graven images.  Only God and the Light”.  

In this particular interpretation the false gods the writer was referring to are the false images we create and worship of ourselves.  “I’m ugly.  No one will ever want to be with me.”  ”I’m not smart enough that’s why all my friends have gotten ahead of me in life”.  These of course are very simplistic examples of creating false gods and then worshiping them. 

Why is that we don’t create images of ourselves that can actually benefit us?  “I’m attractive to some people plus I have many other good qualities that make me a very worth while person.” Or “I’m smart and capable.  I need to develop more confidence in myself and in time I can be as successful as some of my friends”.

I’m not a subscriber to taping positive quotes to my mirrors and refrigerators or repeating positive thoughts five times a day every two hours but I do believe that we, more than anybody else, sabotage our own efforts by spelling doom and gloom with the “false gods’ images we have created of ourselves for ourselves.

So, I’ve decide today to make an extra effort to change my image of myself to myself.  I will try to think of me with the kindness I reserve to others and will try my best to get out of my own way.  I will try to worship more positive images of myself and I’m quite sure I’ll see changes in my life while impacting others by offering a more fulfilled Deborah for them to interact with.

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