For a great part of my life I heard people telling me: “You dream too big. Lower your expectations and you will be happier.” In a way it makes sense, right? If I lower my expectations I have to achieve less, and therefore when I do get to achieve the lesser expectations I’ll be completely happy. It sounds cohesive, but it is fundamentally wrong. The dreams we have is what fuels us to get up, research, investigate, invest, think, struggle, cry, and laugh. The dreams we have is what makes our journey a series of vibrant experiences. Lowering our expectations means giving up on what fuels us.
The point is; it doesn’t matter if we achieve everything we set ourselves out to. What matters is that we keep on creating goals and dreams to be our destination, the bigger the dream the bigger the journey.
Don’t sell yourself short. If you are surrounded by people who want to damp your greater dreams, befriend others that will support you on your journey.
Life is about experiences. How we plot to get where we want to go and how we deal with the successes and the obstacles.
Just make sure your goals are worthwhile. Don’t waste your life by dreaming about becoming famous just for the sake of it. Let being famous become a consequence of some worthwhile endeavor. If you dream about being rich, make being rich a consequence of something amazing that is going to change the way people see themselves and live their lives. Why not? Dream big and live big.
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined – Henry David Thoreau
In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins – not through strength, but through persistence.
I’m reading a book by May Sarton; “Journal of a Solitude.” In it, besides discussing her day to day, she talks about her observations on self-discovery, wisdom and love. There are many passages I want to share. Below is the first one:
“At any age we grow by the enlarging of consciousness, by learning a new language, or a new art or craft (gardening?) that implies an new way of looking at the universe. Love is one of the great enlargers of the person because it requires us to “take in” the stranger and to understand him, and to exercise restraint and tolerance as well as imagination to make the relationship work. If love includes passion, it is more explosive and dangerous and forces us to go deeper.“ – May Sarton
“Here there is nothing that does not see you. You must change your life.” – Rilke
There is much to be learned in the time of crisis. What is important and what isn’t. What we can do with and what we can co without. Finding serenity in chaos. Finding love for others and oneself.
My dad has been in the ICU for the past two weeks. While he’s doing a little bit better, the outcome is still uncertain.
But wait only a couple of weeks ago I was reflecting in what a good time this is for me personally and professionally. After mourning the passing of my husband for the past two and a half years, I have now started to feel strong and happiness has come back to grace my heart. And professionally, this too is a good time.
When my dad first got sick, I got angry. Why now? Haven’t I gone through enough? Why now that I’m feeling my life is finally moving forward? I had thoughts like: “All I want is to be left alone and quiet for a little while and just live my life.”
The below post from CNN.com is a powerful read in many different ways. It is a study in commitment, community and self-discovery. The post is an excerpt of John Blake’s 2004 book “Children of the Movement’. It contains the story of James Zwerg, now 71, a white Freedom Rider.
In 1961, the Freedom Riders – a group of black and white college students – set out for the Deep South to call for change. They were met by hatred and violence — and local police often refused to intervene. But the Riders’ efforts transformed the civil rights movement. Through it all they maintained their focus on their non-violent mission of riding together.
James Zwerg was drawn to the Freedom Rides after having a black roommate while attending Beloit College in Wisconsin. He grew to admire his roommate and was shocked to see how his black friend was treated by whites when they went out in public together.
Found the below interesting article from a couple of days ago in the Huffington Post.
Lisa Firestone, a psychology expert on relationships, discusses how without personal development we keep reenacting our family relationships with our partners. Combine with that our innate fear of intimacy – which keeps us from fully committing – and the odds aren’t great for a successful relationship.
I’ve written plenty about this subject because I know it all too well. I’ve been married twice and in between had many unhealthy experiences.
My first marriage – when I was 20 years old – was very abusive and troubled. When I finally pulled myself out of it, I was only able to do it physically, and so continued on the same pattern of ill relationships.
It took me ten years to realize that the problem had to also reside in me. With billions of people in the world, I was always ending up with partners that truly didn’t respect or care about me?
Not a great fan of Dr. Drew – for people outside of the US who may not be familiar with his work, Dr. Drew is board certified in internal and addiction medicine. He is also the host of the TV show Celebrity Rehab and the radio show Loveline. While I find him to be very smart and insightful, it bugs me that he uses his knowledge to expose others for his own gain.
Anyway, in the clip below Dr. Drew discusses our obsession with celebrities. In it he is really clear, well spoken delivering great insight on the subject. He discusses our loss of understanding of what really brings us happiness and contentment – relationships and not money or power. He adds because as a society we model after narcissistic behavior of people that are not healthy, we feel empty and in pain.
A couple of days ago I wrote a post, Building Contentment With Real Values that addressed the same theme.
This is very important.
A husband’s love and an incredible bond.
We often cheat ourselves of a quality of life we could all have if only we saw love for what it actually is; a state of being.
Instead we walk around shielding ourselves from any possibility of experiencing love as if sharing love with a friend or a stranger would deplete our finite love arsenal. We erroneously believe love is to be saved until we find that one person who will be the recipient of it.
Love is a quality of life. It is not a narrow emotion which comes into existence when we think we have found a partner. So we live our lives with closed hearts without truly giving or receiving.
It’s sad how we invest so much of our energies looking for love and acceptance without realizing that if we are not willing to commit to open our hearts, we will never find that which we seek.
Without wanting to be cliché, love is all around us. But to experience it we need to be present and not afraid to “expose” ourselves.
Just found the below post on Huffington Post. I like its direct approach as to why most of us don’t seem to be lucky in love. Marnie, the writer, points the finger back at us. She poses the question; how can we find fulfilling love if we start of from a place of fantasy and personal confusion? And I couldn’t agree more.
How can we have a satisfying relationship if we pick partners that will only reenact time and again our own neurosis? That is not to say that we have to be “perfect” to find a partner and share a healthy and fulfilling relationship. But there are a few musts:
The Diving Bell And The Butterfly is the memoir of Jean-Dominique Bauby a well-known French journalist, author and editor of the French fashion magazine Elle. A film, by the same title, and based on the book, was nominated for four Oscars in 2008.
On 8 December 1995 at the age of 43, Bauby suffered a massive stroke. When he woke up twenty days later, he found only his left eye had movement. The stroke had resulted in locked-in syndrome, a condition where mental faculties remain intact but most if not all of the body is paralyzed.
The Diving Bell And The Butterfly is Bauby’s memoir. He learned to communicate by blinking his left eye whenever his speech therapist would get to the letter he wanted and thus forming words and phrases.
The title of the book comes from Bauby’s notion that while his body was submerged and weighted down — impossible to move — his imagination and memory were still free and as light as a butterfly’s wings: “My cocoon becomes less oppressive, and my mind takes flight like a butterfly. There is so much to do. You can wander off in space or in time, set out for Tierra del Fuego or for King Midas’s court.” A few days after the book was published to rave reviews in March 1997, Bauby died of an infection.