Lighten Up

July 15, 2009 by  
Filed under Uncategorized

More times than we can count, someone, including ourselves, has uttered the term, “lighten up”.  Usually this would refer to a well intended parent in an effort to get a child to learn a particular lesson or a coach to a rookie player to score more frequently or a boss attempting to get better productivity from a worker.  It’s, indeed, a part of the human psyche, to accept the preconceived idea that if we bear down on an individual, he or she will coalesce with your desire.  (I’ve just reminded myself of seemingly ongoing theories about whether or not torture really works.  A premise to be discussed at another time … in another forum).

If lighten up had an antonymic counterpart, it would be go with the flow.   I think the percentages would run incredibly high on incidents that, at one time or another, had any one of us meeting “the right one” and immediately started showering them with emails and text message (those over thirty with phone calls), all sorts of “reminder gifts”, i.e. exotic flowers, concert tickets, cd’s of your potential partner’s favorite artist and nudging his or her close friends to put in a good word for you.  Come on, we have all done it, to one degree or another.  I would wager that the percentage of failure was even higher than the previously suggested number of attempts employing these over zealous acts to insure acceptance.

Like everything else in life, when we gouge, when give or take more than our rightful share … that part of our universe is bound to become imbalanced.  It’s a natural law that we nor anyone else can refute.  Of course, it’s fine to be persistent, but know when enough is enough.  You see, we often feel that we have to call most of the shots to make it happen.  This so not the case.  

We have to remember that there is at least one other entity in the mix and that they, too, have a right to participate.  The other party’s interests may manifest in ways you may have never imagined … they maybe more subliminal, more cerebral, more of what is compatible but not like you.  After all, who wants to be with someone just like you?   Don’t be offended; this makes you unique.  Learn to appreciate your intended uniqueness, as well.  In so doing, you will recognize and value yourself with a far greater depth of understanding.  So, lighten up … you can make at least two people very happy.