The Importance Of A Home

February 20, 2011 by  
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I’m sitting outside in my yard drinking a cup of coffee.  I look at the trees and see them dancing to the tune of a Sunday breeze. The sun, not wanting to impose, caresses the pink flowers standing guard behind my Buddha fountain. It is a lovely crisp day.

I always refer to my house as my “Tara”.  In the classic film “Gone With The Wind” Scarlett O’Hara drew her strength from her plantation, Tara.  I’m sure, as it is with me, it wasn’t the structure of the house or its riches that made Scarlett endure anything and everything to save her house.  It was, as it is with me, because her house was her home.

A home can be a studio apartment or a mansion.

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Learning To Take Responsibility For Our Life Choices

July 7, 2010 by  
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running man

Taking responsibility for our lives means being clear about what we want and don’t want.

Many of us prefer to leave life decisions to the world; we know a situation is going on, we know we need to take a stance but we don’t because it would mean standing up for who we are and what we believe in.   So we show up and hope life will make the decision for us, but when we allow for that to happen, we become victims of chaos and become powerless.

I believe the reason we leave some decisions to the gods is 1 – because we are afraid to make a wrong decision and then have to live with the fact it was us that made the choice 2 – we are afraid that we will seem harsh and 3 – that others may not like us as much because we can easily say “yes” or “no” 4 – we have to deal with the fact that others don’t take ownership for their choices and will so prefer to blame us for seeing things clearly.

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Controlling Anxiety

June 11, 2010 by  
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hos“Anxiety is a generalized mood condition that can often occur without an identifiable triggering stimulus. As such, it is distinguished from fear, which occurs in the presence of an observed threat. Additionally, fear is related to the specific behaviors of escape and avoidance, whereas anxiety is the result of threats that are perceived to be uncontrollable or unavoidable.”

I’m not going to discuss chronic anxiety as I’m not a doctor.  But anxiety that is a habitual response based on our psychological history which we with determination can come to diminish, interests me.

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Putting Time On Your Side

April 29, 2010 by  
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“Time is part of the measuring system used to sequence events, to compare the durations of events and the intervals between them, and to quantify the motions of objects. Time has been a major subject of religion, philosophy, and science, but defining it in a non-controversial manner applicable to all fields of study has consistently eluded the greatest scholars.” – Wikipedia

Time is a very peculiar measuring system. While we live by the twenty four hour clock, our emotional time works in peculiar ways.

How many of us have experienced life where no matter how long ago certain things have happened they still feel like they happened yesterday?And how many of us, even with the decades adding up, still feel like youngsters inside?

Time has its own beat and trying to understand its “psychological mind” is a losing if not detrimental proposition. Why? For example; how often do we do things and wait for an immediate result and when it doesn’t happen feel angry and frustrate?   Our human mind wants results to follow right after an effort is performed. But time’s mind doesn’t function like that. To time a result happening now or in four decades, its the same because time is not linear.  So what can we do?

We should live life for today and act in the ways we believe to be right for us. We shouldn’t wait to be compensated for our deeds when we do them.  Actually we should do things just for the sake of doing them.  No waiting for any kind of thank you.

Removing the anxiety of time from our lives allows us to be more ourselves and to live more freely. And as we shape the present we also shape the future.

Time, the cradle of hope…. Wisdom walks before it, opportunity with it, and repentance behind it: he that has made it his friend will have little to fear from his enemies, but he that has made it his enemy will have little to hope from his friends. ~Charles Caleb Colton

Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in. ~Henry David Thoreau


Caviar For The Brain

February 23, 2010 by  
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A couple of days ago I went to see Shutter Island, the new Martin Scorsese film with Leonardo DiCaprio.

Without giving the plot away one of the main topics of the film is mental illness.  While I didn’t love the film it was good enough to make me think about our mind’s fragility.  It took me back to when my husband was sick with liver disease and could barely put a sentence together because all of the ammonia in his brain.  It took me back to when after his transplant the combination of steroids and the ammonia turned him into another mind who thought our reality was a fiction of a parallel world.  And it took me back to when exhausted from lack of sleep and the emotional drain of three months fighting to keep my husband alive, I doubted my own sense of reality and thought maybe he, through his illness, had found the truth about life.

Of course these are all extreme cases but it all points out to how fragile and susceptible our minds are.  Feed your mind confusion and sadness and your life will be confused and sad.  Feed your mind love and hope and your life will be filled with love and hope.

I’m not trying to be simplistic about life and feelings. Actually I think life is very complicated.

Many things happen to us that are beyond our control and hurt us deeply but a mind that tries to see and experience beauty more than despair, is a mind that will help navigate us from darkness to light when life becomes too hard.

Recently talking to a friend we came to the conclusion that our sense of survival is one of our strongest driving forces if not the strongest.  Some of us have seen and experienced situations that are so devastating that we wonder how we’ll be able to continue but somehow we do.  We do because first our survival instinct takes over than we do because our mind follows.

Cognitive science (study of how information is represented and transformed in the brain) affirms that the vast information and experiences that we store inside our brain are all interconnected and related with each other, some more strongly or loosely than others and that the well being of the organism is determined by the degree to which the organism feels in control of its environment or situation. Health varies with the level of control that is perceived.

So as the saying goes “Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right”.  Or: “Every man has in himself a continent of undiscovered character. Happy is he who acts as the Columbus to his own soul”.

But most importantly let us not feed our minds junk food.  Let’s feed them with the most exquisite delicacies and most likely the glass will most often be half full and not half empty.