Why I Don’t Care About Success

October 19, 2010 by  
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I really like the below post by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits.  www.zenhabits.net.  It offers a personal take on success.

Success is a relative term.  Defining success as doing something we love and doing it today is a healthier and more satisfying way to live our lives. Enjoy.

‘Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.’ ~Albert Einstein

A lot of people in my field write about how to be successful, but I try to avoid it. It’s just not something I believe is important.

Now, that might seem weird: what kind of loser doesn’t want to be successful?

Me. I’m that loser.

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Get Rid Of False Pride

July 15, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

I have found the following definitions for pride on the web:

  • a feeling of self-respect and personal worth
  • satisfaction with your (or another’s) achievements; “he takes pride in his son’s success”
  • the trait of being spurred on by a dislike of falling below your standards

Most of us have a frail or misplaced sense of worth.  We look at our world accomplishments to base our sense of self-respect and pride on, i.e. “I have X amount of dollars in the bank”, or “I’m really important I have Y job.”  But what happens when we lose the money or the job?  Do we also lose our sense of personal worth?  If someone tells us the job we are so proud of is not that important, do we lose our self-respect? Read more

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Sacred Time

April 17, 2010 by  
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I’ve been thinking about unplugging and what that means.

Much has been said about all the time we spend on the cell, computer, DVR, TV etc.

So recharging is a must.  But before you say you don’t have the time or the money let me tell you that you can do it on the cheap and in a short time.

For me recharging means slowing down enough to enjoy a good glass of wine, a good meal and my home.  My home is my Tara – for you who maybe too young to have seen “Gone With The Wind”, Tara is the home where Scarlett O’Hara (Vivien Leigh) finds her strength, rent it today.  One of the best movies ever made.  Anyway…

I realize I am fortunate to have a Tara.  I realize that many people are still searching for a place to call home while I have found mine.   But regardless, I do know we all have something that is special to us.  Find what that is for you and do it.  If you have kids, send them to your family or in-laws for a night and do it.  If you are restricted financially, there are still many things that can recharge you without costing you lots of money or time.  A bath? A meal? A glass of wine? Meditation?

Again, for me the simple action of slowing down and actually being able to savor a glass of wine, a good meal and my yard, is enough to make me feel I’m recharged and I’m ready to tackle whatever obstacle life is presenting me.  All I need to do is slow down to appreciate my wine, my meal, my yard.

Find your Tara, strengthen and recharge yourself and embrace your life.

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Video Blog 4 – Feeling Happy

April 5, 2010 by  
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The Truth About Happiness

March 31, 2010 by  
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The feeling of being happy is the ultimate human quest but what does it really mean to be happy?

According to Michael J. Fox,“Your happiness grows in direct proportion to your acceptance, and in inverse proportion to your expectations.”  Now according to Eric Weiner, author of The Geography of Bliss: One Grump’s Search for the Happiest Places in the World, “the source of our unhappiness is expectations. Greed fulfilled makes us ‘happy’ for awhile, but when our expectations are no longer met, we’re miserable.”  And finally the Merriam-Webster Dictionary says that happiness is a state of well-being and contentment.

When I’m feeling blue I ask myself “if this or that happened would I feel happy?”  When I think about the answer and imagine my life with this or that happening, the answer is almost always “no”.  The knot is coming from some place else and it is then I realize happiness is independent of this and that.  Happiness is how we feel inside our minds and hearts.  So the good news is that while this can be complicated, because it does not have a quick fix, it is 100% dependent on us.  We have within us everything we need to reach a more fulfilling life or as the dictionary says; a state of well-being.

If you don’t believe what I’m saying ask yourself if by meeting he or she the loneliness and depression you sometimes feel would go away completely.  Close your eyes and really give yourself a few minutes to day dream.  I know my answer is: meeting him (in my case) would be lovely but that which sometimes grabs my insides would still be there.

What about earning lots of money? Would that make us happy? Yes and no.  Money can make things easier and more exciting but the knot would still remain once the novelty subsided.

I am not advocating for celibacy and poverty but I’m suggesting we should also peel the layers of the onion. Learning about ourselves and becoming our own best friends help us understand why the knots are there. And once we know, when he or she arrives, or the job, or the money, we can embrace these gifts with delirious gusto.

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