Stop Being Negative

June 16, 2012 by  
Filed under Blog

Photo by Angie Rubin

It is so easy to see the glass half full — what I don’t have that I wish I had,  why others seem to have an easier time than I do, etc.  To most of us this type of reaction or behavior is almost automatic.

But being “negative” only compounds the problems.  If we’re feeling bad about not having achieved certain goals in our lives, thinking about that and lamenting our current situation doesn’t do us any good.  But, if instead we look at what we do have and our accomplishments; we will certainly enjoy our lives more and then be energized to continue to seek fulfilling our dreams.

To me learning to reeducate my brain to be more positive has been a long road.  Somehow lamenting and feeling sorry for myself became my MO sometime during my late twenties.  Not sure how it happened – maybe a combination of old family behaviors with a very unhappy relationship was enough to get me there.  But, regardless how it started, it soon became my modus operandi.  And then to complete the scenario I surrounded myself with others that behaved the same way.

Once you embark in this style of living, it is hard to turn back.  As we are habitual creatures, we start to find solace in our own pity and sadness. Soon that is how we respond to lives challenges.  Our attention goes to what is wrong instead of what is right.

If you find yourself not celebrating your relationships and achievements as much as you do your losses and frustrations, maybe it is time for you to also take charge and change.

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Learning To Accept Others As They Are

October 12, 2011 by  
Filed under Featured

I would like to share the article I’m posting below.  It discusses how much sadness and difficulties we create for ourselves because we don’t accept things as they are.

In the article Judith describes the situation of a client of hers who struggled with an unsatisfying relationship with her sister her entire life.  The client described to her trying a number of different methods and approaches in order to create some type of relationship. But all her attempts failed because while the client was interested in figuring out how to co-exist and communicate, the sister wasn’t.

As sad as this conclusion is, it is also the truth.  We cannot change how others think and feel.  Everyone is entitled to their point of view. Now, spending enormous amounts of time trying to change others is our waste of time.

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Things We Can Live Without

March 10, 2011 by  
Filed under Featured

Really like the post the post below from O Magazine.  It’s simple and direct. It encourages us to own up our opinion.  It doesn’t mean we are right, it just means it is our opinion.  And no need to be humble about it.

The post addresses the difference between being single and being alone.  We can be single and not alone.  And we can be in a relationship and alone.  Loneliness comes from a disconnect with our own selves.

It also reminds us not to be vulnerable or open to negative people.  Spend fifteen minutes with someone who is negative, and the sunshine you had seen before will change into a cloudy day.

Indulge in the little things that bring you pleasure. Life is to be lived today and creating pleasurable moments makes our spirits soar. Sometimes when I need a little pampering, I make myself a great meal accompanied by a nice bottle of wine.  Or I schedule a facial or a massage. How can you pamper yourself?

Why not write your own six things you can live without?  Once you have your own specific list remind yourself of it as often as you can.

Read on…

Author and political commentator Donna Brazile reveals six things she never wants to think about again—and you don’t need them either.

The words “in my humble opinion.” It is never humble and it is never delivered as opinion.

Energy sucks (a.k.a Negative Nancies, Debbie Downers, and Sad Sids). These are the people who find the cloud around every silver lining. If you can’t cut them out of your life entirely, turn your interactions with them into a game. When my neighbor says, “I hate this horrible weather!” I say, “Isn’t horrible weather great? It means I don’t have to wash my car!” Continued…

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Stop Negative Thoughts And Get Out Of A Rut

May 29, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

Combining negative thoughts with a rut is a difficult scenario for anybody to find inspiration and contentment in life.

Negative thoughts can be: always thinking about what we don’t have or always thinking we are going to fail no matter what we do.

Negative thinking zaps our energy away.  So not only we feel bad by the thoughts themselves but we also feel constantly tired and thus create a cycle of “down”.

I think it is important to understand why we have those thoughts but more important is to learn how to stop them from taking over our lives.

Here are some suggestions:

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