Experiencing Life Through Other People’s Point Of View

November 25, 2010 by  
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Years ago I saw a film called The Joy Luck Club.  The film tells the story of a few women and their mothers from the mothers’ point of view.  I watched the movie alone late at night. Half way into the film, I started to sob. I was overcome by a deep sorrow of having lived so many years without ever attempting to experience my relationship with my mother from her point of view.  In my wants and desires for my life in the world, I had forgotten I was part of her. She had given me life while I wanted to live that life. Because of that experience I was able to gain a new understanding and compassion for her.

Our minds are set up in such a way that we observe and experience everything as if we are the center of the universe.  Things and people exist because of us and for us.  The result is most often conflict and judgment.

Reminding ourselves to also experience our relationships through other people’s point of view turns our own lives into more layered and rounded existences.

The everyday practice is simply to develop a complete acceptance and openness to all situations and emotions, and to all people, experiencing everything totally without mental reservations and blockages, so that one never withdraws or centralizes onto oneself Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche


Other People’s Point Of View

April 27, 2010 by  
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How often do we look at life from other people’s point of view?

I remember many years ago watching a film, The Joy Luck Club, which was mostly about relationships between mothers and daughters.  I watched the film alone and when it was over, I sobbed.  The film had allowed me for the first time to see my relationship with my mother through her eyes.  I understood emotionally that I was part of her.

I had been created with love and then carried inside of her.  She had fed and taken care of me until I was eighteen and got on a plane to New York. To my mom I was and would always be her baby and that informed how she thought and related to me.

I, as a young adult, wanted to experience the world and couldn’t understand her worries and fears.  I also couldn’t understand why she needed me so much and that too informed how I thought and related to her.

My mother and I have had our differences and they mostly came from not understanding each other’s point of view.

If we care about a relationship, when there is a disagreement, it is important to try to see the issue from the other person’s view.  And even if we can’t agree coming to the table with compassion will keep the relationship healthy.