The Three Most Powerful Words: I Love You

January 9, 2012 by  
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The below post by Dennis Merritt Jones talks about the importance of saying of hearing the words I love you.  In his blog, Dennis points out that the impact of these words is great even if they come from complete strangers.  I couldn’t agree more.

While reading it I was reminded how much a touch, a nod or a word from a complete stranger while caring for my terminal husband helped me.

I was reminded of the kindness I found in various waiting rooms or treatment centers of hospitals. Sometimes the gestures were as simple as the handing of a tissue but its impact profound and transformative.

As people we have an innate need to connect to share happiness or sadness.  We want to connect to feel we belong.

The words I love you carry such meaning in them as to make both the giver and the receiver instantaneously feel connected.

So why don’t we say it more often?

Sometimes because we believe those words should only be uttered to others that make our hearts skip a beat.  But what if we thought of love as a way of being? Wouldn’t we then have love for all?

How happier wouldn’t we all be if we heard often that we are loved?  How happier wouldn’t we all be if we could tell others we love them?

Changing the way we all relate can start with each one of us.  It can start with us feeling love within and wanting to share it with all that cross our paths.

What if every day of your life you heard I love you.  What if every day of your life you said I love you.  What would your life feel like? Take a minute to imagine it before you respond.

I know what my answer is:

I LOVE YOU.

Please read on…

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Supporting A Single Beautiful Act

April 3, 2011 by  
Filed under Video

Watch this video. I’m sure everyone involved in it will always have a different attitude not only towards recycling but doing the right thing even if others don’t.

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Finding Your Own Sense Of Well-Being

December 1, 2010 by  
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A funny thing happens when we start to connect with who we really are.  We start to find a greater sense of peace and personal purpose. It is as if finally after many years, we a Rubic’s cube of sorts, finally get put together in the right way.

I like to say we are our own masterpiece.  What I mean by that is our journey in life is to chisel away the extra stone to expose the sculpture that was always there.  The world outside ourselves is not nearly as important as the world that lives within, which holds all the love, hope, and purpose we seek.

Finding our true selves and connecting requires two actions: 1 – separating what is ours from what is of others and 2 – not getting confused by appearances.

Separating what is ours from what is of others:

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The Transformative Power Of Love

November 22, 2010 by  
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Below is a beautifully written and touching post by Dan Gottlieb on the Huffington Post.  Dan discusses how when we open ourselves up to the love that already exists within us, life changes.  When we finally realize that loving someone is not about changing them into the people we would like them to be, we are ready to embrace the love that lives within us. We often spend so much of our time and energy trying to prove who we are to others and ourselves that we end up running over what would actually make our lives in what we keep searching for; a more profound and transformative experience.

His observations come as a result of the loss of his mother and of a friend’s loss of his son.  Unfortunately sometimes it takes a tragedy for life to come into focus again.

Don’t wait to experience a great loss in your life to peel away the layers of anger and discontent to find what already lives within you.  In love there is compassion and warmth. Love yourself and others today.

—-

By Dan Gottlieb

As much as I hate to say it, the Beatles were wrong when they said, “Love is all you need.” It’s just not that simple.

Love nurtures life, but we need much more. I think Andrew Lloyd Webber got it right when he wrote the lyric, “Love changes everything,” for the musical “Aspects of Love.” Love changes our lives, whether it’s the openhearted, head-over-heels kind of love that makes us obsessed with our lover, or the kind of love we feel for a child. But love also changes our lives when it slowly begins to die in a marriage, or when it’s betrayed by broken promises.

And the nature of love is forever altered when death visits the relationship…Continued

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The Healing Power Of Silence

May 25, 2010 by  
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Candles

Candles

I met someone today who had just come back from New York City.  As I lived in New York for 11 years we started to talk about life there and quickly we got into the subject of noise.  I mentioned to her that the last place I had lived in there was on Third Avenue between 26th and 27th street and my bedroom faced Third Avenue.  To people unfamiliar with Manhattan, a bedroom facing Third Avenue is like saying I used to sleep inside a washing machine while running on the heavy load cycle.   The funny thing is while living on Third Ave. I didn’t notice the noise.

It’s now been a good fifteen years since I moved to LA.  My first place here was on the beach where the sounds of the waves crashing down against the shore serenaded me at night and now I live in Silver Lake where the birds chirp me up in the morning.

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Mother

May 7, 2010 by  
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The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.  ~Honoré de Balzac

I have just come back from spending ten days in Brazil with my parents.  I had a great time with them; we talked, had lunch and dinners together, and saw a couple of movies.  It was also my mother’s seventy ninth birthday.

I love my mother but ours wasn’t always an easy relationship.   She was always very emotional, and that scared me, and I, a little wild for her.  As the years went on we tried to strike a balance; neither one of us forgetting we were a family.

I’m not a mother so it has taken me a long time to understand how my mother feels about me.  I was made by an act of love, grew inside of her and then fed and protected by her, while I had my eyes on my life’s road.

My mother and I survived all the years of misunderstanding because of the love we have for each other.  That’s the power of love; it keeps you there even when your mind tells you to shut the door.

Today, I admire my mother’ wisdom and her still ever growing love for me.   I’m no longer afraid of her emotions and she has come to understand my singular way of being.

So this Sunday, even though I never pay any attention to holidays,  I will tell my mother how much I love her and how much she means to me.  And I hope our love can color all the roads that lay ahead for me.

Thou art thy mother’s glass, and she in thee
Calls back the lovely April of her prime.
~William Shakespeare

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Why You Should Love Yourself

April 25, 2010 by  
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If you want to have a loving relationship with a partner, you must start by loving yourself.  I know we all have heard that plenty of times but the reason for that is that it’s the absolute truth.

1. Loving who we are creates power and strength.

If all is do is try to get people to like you, you’ll come off as needy and desperate. This is a bad position to put yourself in. Because loving and respecting yourself goes hand in hand with people loving and respecting you.

2. People like people who like themselves.

Loving yourself is sooooooo attractive.  People like to be with others that love and appreciate who they are.

3. Emotional Stability.

If you love yourself you don’t need someone else’s validation.  Period.

4. Life becomes easy.

When you love yourself, you have nothing to hide.  You are happy with whom you are and so dealing with others is easy.  You don’t have to work at it because you are fine and doing well.

5. You’re happy today.

When you love yourself, you are your best friend and so you are always looking for ways to have fun and be happy today.  You don’t sit at home waiting for someone to rescue you while postponing being happy.

So how can we start to love ourselves?  Next post :)

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Making Friends With Aging And Dying

April 19, 2010 by  
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Yellow Rose

Yellow Rose

Yesterday, I was talking to my dad on the phone about my upcoming visit to Brazil.  We discussed all the things we were planning in doing together and right before I said goodbye my dad said: “I so look forward to seeing you.  I don’t know how many more times I’ll get to see you.”  I felt sad about his remark because it is true.  My dad is 86 years old and we are coming to the end of our path together.

After we hung up the phone I thought about death and aging.  I’m not a morbid person at all but after losing my husband, I’ve become more acquainted with what it actually means to see someone die and to be the one left behind.

Death and aging are part of life and both happen to us every second, or whatever tiniest measure of time there is.  Not being aware of their power is like standing on the shore watching a tsunami approach and doing nothing.

I’m not advocating thinking about aging all the time.  But I’m suggesting being aware of time and not putting all of our eggs in the basket of youth and appearance.  I’m suggesting creating a basket for wisdom, understanding and growth.

I’m also not advocating thinking about dying all the time.  But I’m suggesting being aware of the preciousness of life by relating to others, doing what’s important and not squandering our energy in things that truly don’t matter.

As hard as it may seem, being aware of aging and dying has the power to enrich the life we have today.

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Video Blog 4 – Feeling Happy

April 5, 2010 by  
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Stillness Is A Powerful Action

February 21, 2010 by  
Filed under Featured

Find stillness in chaos.

“Activity conquers cold, but stillness conquers heat.” ~ Lao Tzu

Post written by Leo Babauta. SSS

It’s a bias of our culture that stillness is regarded as lazy, as being stuck in inaction, as a negative.

It’s not. It’s an action, and a powerful one.

What’s more, it can change your day, and in doing so change your life.

You’re in the middle of a frazzled day, swamped by work and meetings and emails and interruptions, or hassled by kids and phone calls and errands and chores.

You pause. Stay still for a minute, and breathe. You close your eyes, and find a stillness within yourself. This stillness spreads to the rest of your body, and to your mind. It calms you, centers you, focuses you on what you’re doing right now, not on all you have to do and all that has happened.

The stillness becomes a transformative action.

Stillness can be a powerful answer to the noise of others. It can be a way to push back against the buzz of the world, to take control. It can remind you of what’s important.

How to Practice
Stillness, oddly, doesn’t come naturally to many people. So practice.

1. Start your day in stillness. Whether it’s sitting with a cup of coffee as the world awakes, or sitting on a pillow and focusing on your breath, stillness is a powerful way to start your day. It sets the tone for things to come. Even 5-10 minutes is great.

2. Take regular stillness breaks. Every hour, set an alarm on your computer or phone to go off. Think of it as a bell that rings, reminding you to be still for a minute. During this minute, focus first on your breathing, to bring yourself into the present. Let the worries of the world around you melt away — all that is left is your breath. And then let your focus expand beyond your breath to your other senses, one at a time.

3. When chaos roars, pause. In the middle of a crisis or a noisy day, stop. Be still. Take a deep breath, and focus on that breath coming in, and going out. Find your inner stillness and then let your next action come from that stillness. Focus on that next action only.

Let stillness become your most powerful action. It could change your life.

“Through return to simple living Comes control of desires. In control of desires Stillness is attained. In stillness the world is restored.” ~ Lao Tzu

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