The Power Of Now

March 4, 2012 by  
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Human Hearts

We all talk about how great it is to live in the moment.   We know there is nothing to be done about the past and the future is a question mark.  But, living in the moment is much more than just being present.  It also means to be free of expectations.  It means to live each moment fully without the pressure of where the moment will take us. It means to be so immerse in it that it becomes an end in itself. No easy feat because we are constantly battling a need to control and to know the outcome of everything we do.

Unfortunately, it is especially in romantic relationships that we see the need to control thriving.  I say unfortunately because that is what most of us proclaim to want – a romantic relationship. And that is where a need to control can create the greatest amount of damage.

It is understandable to be cautious, after all most of us over the age of twenty have experienced heartbreak or betrayal, and we know how much it hurts.  But, analyzing and measuring our every action makes it impossible to experience a fulfilling relationship.

Constantly questioning what he or she will think or what will happen if I do this or that, turns a relationship – which should be spontaneous and free – into a recipe for discontentment.   It is impossible to truly enjoy oneself in the company of another when the what ifs are so present.

So, how do we truly live in the moment? We work at it as if we were building up a muscle.  We set the goal and then with disciple and consciousness we work at it.

We remind ourselves any idea of control of outcomes is a mere illusion.  We remind ourselves there is only the moment of NOW and rather than spoiling it with worries of the future we should let ourselves go and fully enjoy the present.

Every time we are able to stop ourselves from projecting into the future, we are building the muscle of being in the NOW.  And every time we achieve that, we are paid back with a great feeling of freedom.

If there is something I have learned in my life, is things can change in ways we could have never imagined.  Sometimes for the better sometimes for the worse.  Missing out on fully being in a moment  is missing out on life.

I’m not saying I have accomplished being able to live without expectations.  But, I work at it every day by doing what I think I want to do without wondering where it will lead me.  I’m learning to trust my instincts to guide me to greater fulfillment in life.  I know I have no control of outcomes.

We have not control of outcomes. So, why not let go of expectations and fully embrace each moment?

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Want To Be Happier?

November 28, 2010 by  
Filed under Featured

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans – John Lennon

Below is an interesting post on today’s Huffington Post on the topic of living life in the present.

The post discusses our two ailments; 1 – Either hung up on the past or planning for the future and 2 – Seldom bringing our attention to the moment we are living thus often wasting the experience.

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Learn To Live In The Present

October 20, 2010 by  
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Angie Rubin

We have ideas of what our lives should look and feel like.   But, sometimes we find ourselves living different realities from those of our expectations.  We may not have the relationship we want, or the job we want.  So, instead of being present we hang on to our dreams and thus we neither live the dream or our reality.

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Finding Contentment in Seizing the Moment

October 11, 2010 by  
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Video Blog – 6

August 3, 2010 by  
Filed under Video

Learning to embrace our lives as they are happening. There is no past or future when we are in the present.

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Video Blog – 5

August 3, 2010 by  
Filed under Video

You want to have a more fulfilling life, have it. It all starts by deciding to do so.

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The Science Of Problem Solving

June 2, 2010 by  
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Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it. – Mark Twain

Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen.  Keep in the sunlight. – Benjamin Franklin

Flowers CarolinaIt is so easy for us to not only wallow in our present difficulties but also add all the perils we believe are looming next week and the week after and before we know we are either so stressed we can’t deal with anything or completely paralyzed under the weight of it all.

Anybody over the age of eighteen has already experienced many times over that 1 – Life changes on a dime,  2 – Often the scenarios we imagine never come to fruition,  3 – What we do in the present affects the future.  So stressing about what might happen becomes a waste of time and energy. We must live in the present moment.

Let’s now think about what Mark Twain said above:  we must drag our thoughts away from our problems.  Why?  Because just thinking does not resolve anything, it actually adds to the problems.

So what do we do?

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Appreciating What We have

April 15, 2010 by  
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I was invited to dine yesterday with a couple from Brazil plus a few other friends.  I didn’t know the couple but knew of them. She is shorter than me, I’m 5’2″, and in her later 40s or early 50s.  He is about 5’8″ , overweight and in his early 50s.

We all started talking and eventually the subject turned to my losing my husband to cancer. The woman was moved with the way I described my relationship and the journey my husband and I took to fight for his life. Then she said that at least I had experienced true love, something she added she had never experienced.

I was taken aback by her statement being that her husband sat net to her.  Maybe they have some different type of relationship, I thought.  So I asked her how she and her husband had met.  She said it had been at a spa.  She was quick to add it had taken her a while before she agreed to go out with him because of his weight.  I again thought it was strange that she would refer to her husband as fat in front of others.  Did he not care? Finally she shared that her husband’s first wife had also died of cancer.

You might be thinking why I am sharing all this and here it is; as I continued to dine I realized the woman had a fantasy of what her partner should look and be like and her current husband did not fit that picture.  She was so conflicted by the discrepancy between her creation and her reality that she could not see she was married to a very nice man who adores her.  Her anger in feeling trapped is stopping her from fully appreciating the relationship she has.

When I woke up this morning I again thought about the couple and was saddened by how we sometimes don’t appreciate and enjoy our lives because we are so busy chasing an idea.  It was a good reminder of how important it is for us to live in the present and deal with life as is.  And that is why I’m sharing this story.

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Real Possibilities

April 15, 2010 by  
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heart beatSometimes our minds get in the way of us living the real possibilities life is giving us today.  Some of us  have a picture of what we think our lives should look like and because of that end up missing out on the many opportunities of today.

Having an open mind and living in the present allows us to be more in rhythm with life itself.  The fact is we don´t know everything.  I´m not advocating not having plans and direction.  I´m just advocating not missing out on people and opportunities that could give us experiences that we never thought of.

How does the old saying go?  Be careful of what you wish for, lest it come true.  Let´s add:  Be careful of what you don´t see, it might just be what you really want.

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Flying Down To Rio

November 3, 2009 by  
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I am on a plane on my way down to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.  I was born in Rio.  It was there that I was first kissed and it was there that I first made love.   But I’m not going to Rio to kiss or to make love; I’m going to Rio for my father’s eighty fifth birthday and to work.  My father’s birthday is self explanatory my work isn’t, so let me spend a couple of seconds here.  I’m going to Rio to produce a segment of a film that has already shot in Toronto, Tokyo, and Berlin.  The last leg of this film – a dance film – is Rio and I’m producing it.

Going to Rio is always complicated for me; I have too much history there but at this point of my life I consider myself more American than Brazilian. 

Travelling really brings to a head the concept of living in the moment.  Travelling takes you out of your day to day environment and plops you into a different existence.   I won’t be back to my “regular” life for another five weeks.  Not a very long time but not a short time as well.

When I got to the airport I started to catch up on the phone calls I had not returned for the last couple of days.  One of them was to a Brazilian friend, actually a childhood friend, who now lives in Miami.  He said: “relax, you’ll be swimming in the ocean in a couple of days.”  I told him: “What do you mean? Like when I’m wearing my bikini and my skin is dropping everywhere?  How can I go to the beach with all the gorgeous women there wearing their bikinis?  If you were walking down the beach and you saw me and a twenty year old, who would you want?” To that my friend answered “ I would have sex with the twenty year old and then I would talk to you.”  “But what about me having sex?”  Now I was insulted.  Wasn’t I worthy of sex?  Mind you I haven’t had any in a year and a half.”  So he said the most amazing thing: “While we were talking you would say that you were interested in sex and I would by then be captivated by your intelligence, life experience besides your physical beauty – which attracted me to you to begin with – that I would consider myself a very lucky man.” 

As we go through life we are constantly thrown into life; new people, experiences and challenges.  Being in the moment, letting the past be the past and the future be affected by the present is the secret to going through it all.  It is hard and it is scary but the truth is, there is no other way. 

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