Failure, A Path To Success

April 26, 2010 by  
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Failure is an event, never a person.  ~William D. Brown, Welcome Stress!

This is what Wikipedia says about what the criteria for failure is: “The criteria for failure are heavily dependent on context of use, and may be relative to a particular observer or belief system.”

If you spend your life comparing yourself to others and beating yourself down when you failed it is not the world that is against you; it is you who is against yourself.

We so often compare ourselves to others and try to measure up our accomplishments to theirs without any regard for the fact that no two people are alike.  No two people have the same set of upbringing, experiences, or ways to process the world.  So how can we compare our successes and failures to other people?  It would be like comparing an apple to an orange 🙂

Failure is part of success as much as night is part of day.  Through failure we learn and hone our knowledge and ability so we can eventually succeed at whatever we have set our minds and energy to accomplish.

The difference between people who become successful and the ones that don’t is; the successful people have taken their fall as a way to stand up stronger.   The people that fail take their fall as a way to make sure they will always stay down.

So don’t waste your time chastising yourself.  Learn the lessons as you fail and enjoy the process, which is often more rewarding than the successes themselves.

The only time you don’t fail is the last time you try anything – and it works.  ~William Strong

Failure doesn’t mean you are a failure… it just means you haven’t succeeded yet.  ~Robert Schuller


I Feel Nasty

August 22, 2009 by  
Filed under Blog

I live in Los Angeles, the car capital of the country where we worship our cars.  Some of us have no money for anything but we have our shinning cars.  As we drive by each other in our shiny cars we have no idea of the dramas playing out in each one of the cars we pass by.

Last night, for some reason, before going out to meet a friend I decided to pull out my unused make up kits. Without really knowing what I was doing, even though I’m way past the age of not knowing what to do, I started putting dark colors around my eyes.  I was going for a mysterious, dangerous look but mostly ended up with black all over my face and sink. 

After cleaning my face and succeeding at keep the eye shadow mostly around my eyes, I put on my long earrings and I looked in the mirror and felt hot and I felt sexy and I felt nasty. 

And I thought back to the time before I had met Chris, to the time I was afraid of my own feelings and thoughts to the time my womanhood my sexuality got me in trouble and often made me feel guilty.  And I thought about the friendships I left behind so I could leave the troubles there as well.

And I drove to pick up a girlfriend and as she got in the car I told her that I was going to be kissing a man that night.  She offered me a dollar but I said she should do better than that, at least a twenty.  And as I said those words I realized I wasn’t going to go through with it.  I wanted to shake things up to be daring.  I wanted to turn a page.  I wanted to move on but the truth is I am not ready yet.  The future is still the future and the past is still the present.

I understand grief has its own time and process.  I’m always in a hurry wanting things to happen now, but in the same way that I fell in love with Chris by getting to know him so is my process of living without him – a day at a time. 

I know the good, respecting, conscientious Deborah lives side by side with the sexy, provocative, playful Deborah.  The key is to learn how to balance all sides as I try to honor my whole being. Good Saturday.