Self Destructive Behavior, How To Stop It

January 30, 2011 by  
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I know a thing or two about self-destructive behavior.  In my life I had two distinct cycles; first when I left my family in Brazil and moved to NYC.  Second, when I left my first husband in NYC and moved to Los Angeles.

Now even prior to my move to NYC, I find a girl who always had trouble understanding why people would love me.  Even a friend.  So I would look at every relationship I had and ask myself what was I providing that person with to justify them being my friend. One can say I had a serious case of low self-esteem. And of course it wasn’t justified. I’ve always had many qualities that make me a person worth being with and loving.

My first cycle ran for about ten years.  I married a man who was controlling and abusive and little by little lost myself to depression.

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Guilt, How To Indentify And Get Rid Of It.

May 27, 2010 by  
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love-sick1There are different types of guilt.  There is “healthy guilt” where we have done something wrong, we recognize having done something wrong and so we move to apology and fixing, if possible.  We learn from the experience and we move on without making our wrong action define who we are.

There is the bashing guilt and there is no reason for it as it is a completely useless feeling.

So what is this “bashing guilt”?  That’s when we feel we are bad people and only do awful things.  That’s when we talk to ourselves or about ourselves in ways we would never imagine talking about others.  It’s self-hatred and we feel we must punish ourselves.  So we become our own executioners by beating ourselves up with negative thoughts like: “Everything I do is wrong.  I am a loser, a reject”.  Now how could that be of service to our growth and well being?

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