Sometimes It Takes Commitment

April 21, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

love-sick1My husband died five years after we met, but I think if he were alive we would have stayed together until we both looked like old prunes.

The reason I say this, is because Chris and I truly loved each other and were each, were each other’ best friend and most importantly made a commitment to invest in our relationship and to trust each other.

We both had been married before and knew how lucky we were to have found each other for a second chance.  We were aware that in the course of our lives we would meet other people and that sometimes we would get tired or upset at each other.  We knew that before committing to a relationship, so when we did, we knew we were going to deal with things as they came up and would always remember the love and friendship that had brought us together in the first place.

So although Chris is no longer here, in the five years we had together we got to experience an entire lifetime.  We also stuck together through it all.

There is nothing like truly sharing your heart and trust with someone else.  It changes you in many ways.  And if, like in my case, the relationship comes to an abrupt end, the love doesn’t;  it lives on.

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Double Jeopardy

July 22, 2009 by  
Filed under Uncategorized

Earlier today I was talking with my daughter and told her about a movie that I had seen several times.  To my amazement she, too, loved and watched the film more times than she could recall. “Double Jeopardy”, starring Ashley Judd and Tommy Lee Jones it’s quite entertaining, but nowhere near a recommendation as one of my all time faves.

For those of you who have not seen the aforementioned, it’s summarily about a woman who gets falsely accused of murdering her husband, who later is revealed to still be alive … with another woman the child of his first wife.  The erroneously sentenced mother goes to prison and is released after six years, determined to reveal the untruths that have turned her life upside down while vowing to find her son.  I won’t disclose the ending, but there was one moment that had me studying the movie as though I was Roger Ebert .

While imprisoned, one of the inmates assured the falsely accused that no matter when or where she would locate her son, he would know her. It was explained to the pensive mom how the other prisoner could be so sure.  She simply explained that children essentially always remember the sounds and touches of those that birthed or raised them no matter how young they were when separated from the adults.  

This scenario was particularly interesting to me as didn’t know that my daughter was my daughter until several years after she was born.   Quite honestly, it was a joyous as well awkward time in my life … and hers as well.  We both discovered that having not had that initial interaction created a few stumbling blocks along the way.  I found myself attempting to recapture something that I didn’t have in the beginning.  Those early recollections of my turn to change diapers or well intended refrains of “Rock-a-bye Baby” were not mine to have.

I quickly realized that good parenting doesn’t come in an easy-to -swallow capsule and the next day you get voted Dad of the Year.  It takes even more time, more experience and all the love that you had back then plus all that you can muster presently.

Through some universal phenomenon, the love, whether to lift your baby’s feet to put her bootees on or to help her put her backpack on, manifests itself …  no matter at what stage of life it happens.  

For me ….and my daughter,  ”Double Jeopardy” could have been entitled “Second Chance”.

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