Changing Our Lives

September 14, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog, Popular Posts

By Angie Rubin

Reading a post on The Frisky this morning made me think back to a turning point in my life.  First let me set up the article entitled: “I’m Changing The Voices In My Head”. In the post the author writes of her struggle with her own inside chatter, constantly challenging who she is and what she thinks at every turn. In essence her “voices” are always telling her she is not pretty, lovable, or smart enough.  In that state of mind she went to see a therapist who told her she needed to change her cognitive distortions, which means her all or nothing thought pattern; either she is loved by everyone or by no one.  Either she is the prettiest woman or the ugliest. The day after seeing the therapist when she caught herself again thinking in an “all or nothing way” she said no to herself.  That was the beginning of her transformation.

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How To Stop Being Self-Destructive

June 25, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

heart on the beach

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” Jalal ad-Din Rumi

Why are we so self-destructive?  Often the answer is fear. Somehow we are afraid of both succeeding and failing in the things we consider important and we turn to aggression and self-destruction as a way of keeping us from truly going after what we desire.

This life dynamics starts early in our development.  Think back to when we were kids and we liked the girl in pigtails or the boy with the banged up knees.  Most of us pulled the girls’ hair or ignored the boy instead of demonstrating how much we like them for fear of being exposed and rejected.

While that behavior can be cute when we are ten years-old it is destructive when we are adults.

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Are You Addicted To Drama?

June 24, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

I usually check out the Huffington Post (www.huffingtonpost.com) in the morning.  I like some of their political posts as well as their living posts.  I’m also loyal to the Huffington Post because I am one of their regular bloggers.

In today’s Living section I saw a headline that caught my attention; “Are You Addicted To Drama? http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tom-ferry/self-help-are-you-addicte_b_623182.html ” posted by Tom Ferry.  I started reading it right away because I have not only been addicted to drama in the past but I have also had many people in my life suffering from the same condition.

While I agree with some of Tom’s statements such as: “how you feel determines your attitude. Your attitude then determines your actions, which ultimately determines the outcome”, and “Why are most people comfortable in this place of conflict? There’s a perceived benefit to being dramatic. We get attention. Our needs are being met because we are connecting with others” the accusatory and blaze tone he chose to use is in my opinion a reflection of his lack of understanding of why people create drama in their lives.

People create drama in their lives because:

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