Bonding Behaviors

September 1, 2009 by  
Filed under Featured

Written by Marnia Robinson

Want to bond more deeply with your lover? Use these behaviors to speak directly to the only part of your brains that can fall in love, or stay in love. The desire for, and rewards of, these behaviors are deeply rooted in millions of year of evolution. Enjoy!

  • smiling, with eye contact
  • skin-to-skin contact
  • holding, or spooning, each other in stillness for at least twenty minutes to a half-hour
  • wordless sounds of contentment and pleasure
  • stroking with intent to comfort
  • massaging with intent to comfort, especially feet, shoulders and head
  • hugging with intent to comfort
  • lying with your ear over your partner’s heart and listening to his or her heartbeat for several moments
  • gently placing your palm over your lover’s genitals with intent to comfort
  • providing a service or treat without being asked
  • giving unsolicited approval, via smiles or compliments
  • gazing into each other’s eyes for several moments
  • listening intently, and restating what you hear
  • forgiving or overlooking an error or thoughtless remark, whether past or present
  • preparing your partner something to eat
  • synchronized breathing
  • kissing with lips and tongues
  • making time together at bedtime a priority (even if one partner has to get up and work on something afterward)

Marnia Robinson (with degrees from Brown and Yale) is a former corporate lawyer who left her career to investigate how ancient sacred-sex prescriptions can heal disharmony in intimate relationships. She is the author of Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow: From Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships. Her work has been featured in the award-winning anthology Toward 2012: Perspectives on the Next Age. She runs the web site Reuniting: Healing with Sexual Relationships, and resides in Ashland, Oregon with her husband, Gary Wilson.

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