December 7, 2009 by  
Filed under Blog

Passion is the most important ingredient in life.  I am not just referring to passion between two people but am talking about fun and enjoying ourselves which results in wanting to do things with energy, with passion.

Unfortunately today’s way of living ends up usurping any passion out of our lives as most of us are always in a hurry.  We have to get up early to work or take care of kids.  We spend our days performing tasks and running from one place to another and at night we try to catch up with things that were left undone from the day; so no wonder most of us are often tired and lacking motivation.

Living fast to keep ourselves afloat often ends up in boredom.  Passion, the exact opposite of boredom, needs space to flourish and needs daily feeding.

We live in a society that quantity has replaced quality.  How many of us ask ourselves this question: “Have I produced enough today?”  But how many of us ask: “Did I have enough quality time today?  Did I feed my passion?”

Creating space for passion, the fuel of life, does not have to be complicated.  We don’t need to travel expensively, have wild sex or eat at the most expensive restaurant in town to feed our passion.  What we need to do is to slow down enough and have the time to check in with ourselves.  To close our eyes, take a deep breath and ask ourselves how we are doing and what is it that we need.  When we do that we become more in tune with ourselves and we can be our own givers of the things that make us smile; be that a glass of wine, a walk in the park, a nice meal, a massage, or just relaxing while listening to music.  Whatever it is, if we slow down we’ll know how to provide.

We are not machines; we are complicated beings full of feelings and thoughts.  Crossing tasks off our “to do” lists non-stop only create lives without pizzazz and who wants that?  Especially because when we get bored we may opt for creating havoc in our surroundings just to feel something and that is not passion; it is self destruction.

So I’m working on checking in with myself and making sure I’m feeding my “soul” to have enough passion to have a life well lived.


5 Reminders That Will Affect Your Life

September 26, 2009 by  
Filed under Blog

I am actively working on affecting changes in my life.  I fully realize that I have within me all the tools I need to have a great impact in the way I feel on a daily basis.  I also know that my life is my creation and my master piece.  All the situations that happen in my life give me the choice in how to sculpt my existence.

None of us are different from anybody else.  We all want the same things we only go about getting them in a different way.

So I wanted to share with you the things that I’m now reminding myself of every moment in order to affect the changes I want and I hope you’ll find these concepts helpful as well.

1 – Slow down – The misguided idea that by not having a minute to breath we are accomplishing lots and so deserve some type of reward it is just stupid.  All we do is create stress and miss out on all the simple things that are the basis of real happiness that happen all around us without any appreciation or recognition from us because we just don’t have the time.   Even sex which is mostly free and if you have a partner easy to do falls in the, I don’t have time for it category.  How much time do you dedicated to explore your body and your lover’s body and experience love and pleasure knowing that if you did it would bring you happiness?

2 – Commitment – Whatever it is that we decide to put our minds and energy into should be done with full commitment.  That means no fear of failure.  Fear of failure makes us not fully commit.  Somehow we think if we don’t share with ourselves and others how much we really want something, we have the illusion that if it doesn’t happen we won’t look bad.  The truth is that without full commitment we are going after something with only half a brain and half a heart.  How many of us have actually seen others succeed because they declared to the world what they wanted and went after it with gusto?  Who cares what others think of our successes of failures?  What we should be caring about is stretching our personal boundaries and experience the best life we can for ourselves.  No one knows us and where we have been and what we want like ourselves.  The only person we need to care about in committing is ourselves.  As we don’t have a clue what takes for anybody to get something the reverse is also true.

3 – To Be of Service – Giving and sharing is the best way to get us outside our own heads and make us feel part of a community and to feel and that we have a voice in how the world gets shaped.  We can have a positive impact in the world.  That’s a huge thing.

4 – Live in the Present – The past has happened and the future is yet to register so the only time frame we can experience is the present.  By focusing on the present we can impact the future.  By focusing on the future, we missed the present and become very passive in the outcome of our lives.

I believe in the basic quantum physics concept that the past, present and future co-exist simultaneously.  But that is not to say that we get a second chance to re-do or to experience something in a different way because once the energies of the world shift ever so slightly that moment will never happen again.

5 – Love.  Let’s not ever miss the chance to love a friend, a pet, a neighbor a flower, a family member and a partner.   Giving and receiving love makes us feel safe,  protected and gives us courage to have a bigger life.


Shit Happens

September 4, 2009 by  
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My husband used to tell me all the time that I have no patience.  He always said: “you just did such and such, give it time.”

I’m always in a hurry.  I do something and I want to see results.  Maybe that’s why when I first landed in NYC at age eighteen, I felt like I was home.  Everything moved fast and I liked it.

Years later I realize that life is not about ten minutes to a better body or ten ways to feel happier.  Even though I still want things to happen fast I know there is no absolute happiness and there is no absolute anything and the world has its own clock.

There are so many self-help books and doctrines that tell us if we think positive thoughts all the time we will get everything that we want.  What a disservice to mankind!

I know most of these authors are after big sales of books, DVDs, etc. and they understand the American psyche – get it done and get it done fast – but the truth is no matter how many stickers you place on your bathroom mirror or on your closet door saying how wonderful you are, shit happens.  The reason is simple: everything and everyone in this planet has a goal and a mission and sometimes we are not all in synch and we definitely don’t all want Shangri-La.  People die, markets crash, and poverty exits.  It’s out of our control. 

What we do have control over is how we handle and appreciate life.  There are many gifts and opportunities that present themselves to us every day that if we weren’t so busy going after our lofty goals we might just draw and receive a lot of satisfaction out of them.

So while I don’t believe in ten steps to anything, I do believe in the small gifts.  I believe in slowing down and appreciating a friend’s phone call, a beautiful sky, a smiling face, a dog or a cat giving a loving lick. Silly? Don’t mock it till you try it.

I believe in picking goals that I’m passionate about so that when the obstacles come, and they will, I’ll have enough passion to keep going. 

I believe in looking at a situation from different perspectives and choosing the most positive angle to move forward.

And I believe in honesty.  What a relief to be able to share how I truly think and feel without being worried how others will think and see me.

A friend, whose husband passed away from cancer, made a documentary about her husband and a number of other people going through the process of being diagnosed, treated and eventually dying of cancer.

Of all the people she followed a particular woman’s story stuck in my head because she said she felt she had failed because there were so many books about positive thinking and the connection between sickness and frame of mind that she felt that she was responsible for her own cancer and her own inability to cure herself.  So in essence she was guilty of her death and the pain it brought to her family.  Her testimony broke my heart.  I wished I could have reached out to her through my TV set, where I was watching the documentary, to cradle this woman and to tell her it was not her fault. That the world was a noisy and complicated place where her positive thinking had only domain and control over how she felt and dealt with things but not how they eventually turned out.

I have done a lot of “soul searching” in the last few years of my life.  Not because I chose to but because I had to and I concluded that McDonald’s does not work as a meal and it does not work as a life style.  Slowing down and appreciating the daily things is what gives us power and strength to move forward, because the small, every day things are beautiful.

I have also concluded that again shit happens and after shit happens something else will happen.  It is up to us to navigate the ups and downs in the best way we can.

So don’t feel discourage if after following 10 days to a better anything you still feel the same, because the truth is there is no absolute and you and I will have plenty of crying to do before our time is up.  But we’ll also have plenty of laughter.  So let’s shift our focus to the laughing periods and when the crying periods come we will have our laughter stored up to help us navigate the difficult times.


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