Learning To Stand And Speak Up For Ourselves

July 26, 2011 by  
Filed under Featured

I like the blog posted below.  It’s simple and to the point, and addresses a very difficult and life changing issue; speaking up for oneself.  Why is it difficult? Because it also means taking care of ourselves.

Many of us – especially if you are like me; understanding and non-confrontational – think that in order to keep the peace in relationships, we are better off not saying anything and digesting the situation ourselves rather than speaking up.  While it is true that we should pick our fights, not saying to others how we feel about the way we are being treated and spoken to will only lead to bad relationships and resentment.  It is also not true that issues that bother us can be swept under the rug without consequences.  And it is not true it will benefit a relationship — quite the contrary.

When we don’t speak up for ourselves (read: stand-up for ourselves) the message we are sending to our psyche is, we don’t have rights.  And soon enough we will believe that to be true.

Now think about an alternative; letting others know when situations that make us uncomfortable occur, that we would appreciate being talked to in a different fashion.  Imagine stating that with calm and without resentment.  And even if the other person can’t hear it, our psyche will hear us and think: yes, I too have rights.

Now how do we break the habit of not speaking up?

1                    – First by realizing by not speaking up for ourselves, we are actually creating resentment which will damage how you feel about the other person.

2                    – Realizing that by not speaking up we are not giving the person and the situation the possibility of being different.

3                    – Taking a deep breath and speaking from the heart.

4                    – Knowing whatever the results are, we are changing the way we see and deal with our own selves.

Please read on.

Why Don’t You Speak Up for Yourself?

By Margaret Paul, PH.D.

Do you have problems speaking up for yourself when others are being uncaring?

My counseling clients often complain to me about interactions they had with a partner, friend, parents or co-worker. When I asked the question, “Why didn’t you speak up for yourself?” here are the most common answers I receive: …Continued