The Difference Between Loneliness And Solitude

August 3, 2011 by  
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Although loneliness and solitude are often thought to be the same experience, nothing could be further from the truth.

For a long time in my life I felt lonely.  Even when I was married living in New York, I felt lonely.  The reasons were:  1 – I was terribly unhappy in my marriage and 2 – I didn’t have a healthy relationship with my own self.

Feeling unhappy in a relationship is a relatively easy situation to fix.  Sooner or later one of the two  – if not both – start a process of separation.  Now creating a relationship with oneself is a bit more complicated because it requires courage and commitment. Courage to embrace all aspects of our being – what we consider “good” and what we consider “bad” – and commitment, because it will take time to form a bond.

Once you decide to get to truly know yourself, solitude becomes the space and time to make it happen.

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What Do We Do With The Feeling Of Emptiness?

December 22, 2010 by  
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It’s raining cats and dogs here in Los Angeles.  While driving home last night, I called a girlfriend in Brazil to keep me company as I drove through the flooded streets.

My friend has known me since I’m nine years old.  The wonderful thing about long standing relationships – especially the ones you have since childhood – is that they know and have seen you through different stages of life.  My friend and I have great intimacy and love for each other.

We started to talk about the empty “hole” people feel from time to time.  Why do we sometimes feel blue or anxious or unhappy when nothing really has happened to warrant those feelings?

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Learning to Appreciate What We Already Have

June 26, 2010 by  
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“All appears to change when we change.” -Henri-Frédéric Amiel

“…our moment-to-moment happiness is largely determined by our outlook.  In fact, whether we are feeling happy or unhappy at any given moment often has very little to do with our absolute conditions but, rather it is a function of how we perceive our situation, how satisfied we are with what we have.” – Dalai Lama

It is okay for us to have dreams and work towards achieving them but having an appreciation for our already achieved accomplishments is what gives us a sense of well being.  If our eyes are always in the future, then our present has no value and we feel depleted and dissatisfied.  Life is meant to be lived in the present.

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