Sometimes Its Not About Being Shady But Shy

June 5, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog


I have always been guilty of making assumptions about people’s behavior based on feelings I pick up around them.

Now, I’m unusually sensitive to other people’s body and emotional signals but can get myself in trouble when interpreting them.  The reason is when trying to understand someone else’s behavior – let’s say a discomfort in looking others in the eye – we may interpret that as shady but the reason might be shyness.  The manifestations for both behaviors (shady and shyness) are the same but if we are using our own  understand and practices to interpret someone else’s attitudes, things can go the wrong.

Another action we might take is interpreting other people’s behavior is to turn it to be about us.  He or she is not looking me in the eye because he or she is trying to avoid me.  I wonder what I have done.  Am I not smart enough?  Interesting enough?

That even applies to unreturned phone calls.  Aren’t I important enough to warrant a return call?

Often the reason for others to do or be has nothing to do with us.  It is our insecurity or maybe even our low self-esteem that turns other people’s behavior into something about us.

The only reason to be discussing this is 1 – It might interfere in social situations as it may lead us to react 2 – It might jeopardize a relationship 3 – It might cause unnecessary angst.

So next time you find yourself in a situation that you want to make it about yourself take a moment to think  before throwing the towel down or get full of anxiety.

  • Winsor Pilates

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