Never Give Up On Your Life

July 24, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

I was telling my dad this morning about Marc Abrams, the “walking doctor” of Silver Lake ( who committed suicide.  My dad who is going to be 87 years old in November said: “That’s really sad, to throw away life, the most precious gift we have.”

I thought back to when my late husband was very sick and I felt trapped.  I couldn’t imagine him going on suffering as he was for much longer and I couldn’t imagine living without him.  We loved each other in a way we had never experienced before and our lives were completely intertwined.  What would happen to me when he was no longer around?  How could I exist if he didn’t?

I remember one day in particular when I was deeply sad.  Chris was in a lot of pain and I couldn’t see a way out for us.  I told him: “Let’s end this.”  I don’t think I would have gone through with the thought but that phrase at that moment expressed everything I was feeling.  It seemed at the time the only solution for both of us.

August 15th 2010 will mark two years since Chris passed.  I am alive and have done many things that I’m proud of in this time frame.   I have written a book, started this site, and got involved with a number of causes that are important to me.

I miss Chris and our life together every day but I laugh, love and dream.

I am sharing this because it is important for us to remember we don’t know how our lives will go if we just take a step forward.  Many things have changed about me since my husband’s passing.  Today I am more myself than I have ever been and my sense of value and of what is important has also shifted.   I realize well being and contentment are simple and inward efforts.

If you find yourself trapped, depressed or without inspiration, don’t give up.  Dig deep, breathe deeply, and take a step forward.  Things do change.  Know that.  Believe in that. I know, I’ve been there.

  • Winsor Pilates

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