How To Create You Own Love Story

September 25, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – Rumi

I’m finishing a book “Paint It Black” by my friend Janet Fitch, who is also the writer of “White Oleander”.  The book tells the story of the aftermath of a young woman, Josie Tyrell, whose boyfriend, Michael Farraday commits suicide.  We never “meet” Michael alive.  Our knowledge of him is through Josie’s memories of the world they shared. And it is this world I want to discuss.

Janet Fitch describes in details the love-making, dreams and fantasies Josie and Michael shared.  The time they gave to one another and their excitement in discovering things together.  In the fantasy world they created they experienced trips, meetings and situations without ever leaving their small house in Echo Park, Los Angeles.

We also learn Michael was the type of person who saw the beauty in everything and stopped the world to appreciate.

As I read their story, I am reminded of how much we short change ourselves when it comes to love.

We meet someone, we are attracted to them, we’re excited by them and sometime later we’ll most likely fall into a routine and take for granted that feeling which once made us giggle with pleasure.

Of course I realize every one of us has many demands placed on us.  We have jobs, kids, parents, homes, and ourselves to care for.  And are minute by minute bombarded with information.  But love needs time to thrive.  It needs space to stretch its wings.

Josie and Michael spent time in bed discovering each other’s bodies.  There was no rush.  In their love-making nothing was more important than that moment in their bedroom.  There was no money to be made and no responsibilities to be met.

When we go see a romantic movie we are moved by the love we see shared between the leading lady and man.  We take a romantic journey with them and secretly wish we too had that experience.  But when we get home, we get busy with tasks and forget to create our own love story.

I’ve been married twice.  When I think of my first marriage, I can’t feel any love or have any good memories of the time we shared together.  My second marriage – which 50% of our time was spent in hospitals – is filled with love and beautiful memories.  Love and relationship are results of what we create.

If I ever get into a relationship again, I will know to give it time and attention.  I will know to create together dreams that will be our own and I will know to open my heart and let all the love I have in me come out without demands or requisites.

“The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finallymeet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.” – Rumi

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