Are You Entitled To Happiness?

August 29, 2011 by  
Filed under Blog

Photo by Angie Rubin

Do you believe you are entitled to happiness?  Now take your time answering this question because in the answer lies much of the reason for your current quality of life.

Many of us unconsciously believe we don’t deserve to live whatever life we profess to want.  The reason for this phenomenon is usually low self-esteem.  We think we are not worthy and then we punish ourselves by thinking negative thoughts and attracting difficult situations into our lives in order to prove our point.

I know this scenario too well.  I have spent a great part of my adult life afraid of negative things happening while at the same time creating situations where the only possible outcome was bad.  While after much soul searching I came to understand the reasoning for my psyche to have reached the point of never ending negativity, I still needed to come up with ways to change.

As each one of us have their own reason why we get trapped in the negative merry-go-round, getting out is a bit more universal.

It starts with taking responsibility for the way we think and process our own lives.  That goes from the most basic; i.e picking up our mail and wondering what awful things have come, to interpreting every situation from a negative perspective,  to thinking that everything that goes wrong is because of us.

Once we “admit” to only applying the negative we can move to trying something different.  What if the mail has indeed brought something exciting? How about looking at a situation without taking on self-inflicted blame and consider what can be learned?  What if we step outside our own selves and look at the situation from a different and more detached fashion? What if we say with certainty that we deserve a good outcome on something we have done the homework and applied ourselves to?

Changing our thought process takes discipline but the reward is huge; living a life where we believe we deserve to be happy versus a life where we are always wondering when the next shoe is going to drop.

Below is a quick list of good thoughts to live by:


  • “Bad” and “good” things happen to each one of us
  • We are responsible for our actions but not for the universe
  • Compassion can and should also be applied to us
  • If you have worked for something the chances of it working out are as good as the chances of not working out.  Why not choose the former?
  • If something goes wrong, sulk for a minute, take stock, and try again.  It’s not necessarily your fault.  It might be something else that needs adjustment.
  • Be excited for things to work out.
  • When a negative thought comes up, substitute it by a positive.
  • When something “bad” happens don’t let the thought process take into: “I’m a loser and my entire life is going to be about overcoming disasters.”
  • Train yourself to look at the glass half-full.
  • When something good happens, bask on it.
  • Embrace the fact that you deserve whatever is important to you as much as anybody else deserves goodness in their lives.
  • Smile.  It turns lives around.

Being positive or being negative is a choice. Feeling we deserve happiness is also a choice. Choose positivism and happiness.  It doesn’t cost more than being negative and sad and it brings a lot more excitement into our lives.

  • Winsor Pilates

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