Delicious Ambiguity

June 23, 2012 by  
Filed under Blog

Photo by Angie Rubin

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.” — Gilda Radner

The above came from Gilda Radner, who died of ovarian cancer at age 43.

Tomorrow, June 24th, would have marked 9 years since I had met my late husband.  June 26th, 6 years since his liver transplant.  August 15th, four years since he passed away and August 26th would have been our 6th year wedding anniversary. Life is indeed not perfect.

When I met Chris I knew for a fact we would be a couple till old age.  When we giggled together at night at how happy we were, we thought it would last forever.  But, life has its own mind, and all we can do is show up at every moment with our full presence.

One of the good things of getting older, is we learn that all the energy we spend wondering about the “what ifs” are a waste of time.  Life is unpredictable and so we must learn to surf.  All of a sudden a wave shows up; we must catch it and ride it without knowing when and where it will end.  But we do it with enthusiasm. We get up on the board and smile enjoying the feeling of going up and down on the wave.

Forrest Gump said “Life is like a box of chocolate.  You never know what you going to get.”  But, you have to open the box to try the chocolate.

I’m learning to let go of expectations and fears about the future because I know no matter how certain it all seems, it really isn’t.  I’m also learning to be fully present and open to all the amazing possibilities that I have thought about as well as the ones I couldn’t even imagine.

It doesn’t take courage to live in the moment.  It takes concentration.   It takes being here in the moment in delicious ambiguity.

  • Winsor Pilates

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