Before Throwing In The Towel, Make Sure That’s What You Want

July 1, 2012 by  
Filed under Featured

A friend of mine, I’m going to call her Annie, lived with her boyfriend for four years before they decided to get married.  They had a fabulous fun wedding and four months later she caught her new husband cheating on her.  She was so hurt, humiliated and angry that all she could think was of was to ask for a divorce.  They sold their house and went their separate ways.

I saw Annie recently, three years after her divorce, and we talked about her ex-husband.  She said she regretted not having given their relationship a chance.  She thought she should have talked to him and tried to figure out why after just a few months he needed to give his attention to someone else.  Was the commitment to much of a weight?  Was he/she feeling insecure about still being a desirable man/woman?

As I listened to her, I realized sometimes we act in particular ways that are not exactly what we want, but come from pre-conceived ideas of how things should be.

What I mean for example is; her friends and society in general condemns a partner who cheats and often demand a swift and final response.  I’m talking about divorce.  But, if we stopped for a moment, and put our pride aside, maybe what we would really want to do is to find out why it happened and can it be overcome.  Did our partner falter in their own personal development and hurting us a byproduct and not the intent of their action?  If the answer is yes, can we support each other through a difficult time and grow through the trial?

It is very hard to put aside feelings of betrayal, but if there is love then there should be a way to find again that which brought two people together to begin with.

We make mistakes.  We act out.  We hurt each other without really meaning to.  So in the end the question that should be asked is: Do we still want to be in the journey of life together and if so then we must find a way to work through it.

Please read on.

He Cheated, She Stayed: One Woman’s True Story of Getting Over Infidelity

By Anonymous   |   From the April issue of O, The Oprah Magazine

What happened to her marriage made her come undone. Now, piece by piece, she’s putting it all back together.

I have a black lace push-up bra left over from my days as a mistress. I was in my early 30s then, and fed up with relationships, fed up with falling for men who, the moment they noticed that I was sweet on them, would ask me to please stop liking them so much because it was making them feel claustrophobic…Continued


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