My Older Friend Part II

July 10, 2009 by  
Filed under Blog

My older friend left back to New York yesterday but before he went we had dinner together.  As I sat looking at his wrinkled face I wondered if he looked at younger people with jealousy and so I asked him.  He said his jealousy, if he could call it that, was only about younger people having more time to make mistakes, something he no longer had. 

I continued to push him in this subject and asked if when he looked in the mirror he felt sad for the aged face now staring back at him.  Without hesitation he said “no.”  Seeing that I needed more than just his “no” he went on to say that if you are happy in the moment with what you are doing and living than there is no space for longing then he opened up a big smile and said:  “you also get used to seeing yourself in a different way”.

I often ask my friend Lori, a therapist whose specialty is dealing with the aging, if we are going to be looney tunes like our parents when we get older – we both love our parents  but truthfully they are a little out there.

Lori always says no, that the key to aging is attitude.  If you are basically a happy, stable individual, that’s who you will always be.  If you are open to life that’s how you’ll be when older.

And so I had a great time with my dear friend who in his 70s who hoped on a red eye back to New York full of excitement from two days in Los Angeles ready to share his experiences with his wife and eager for his next adventure.

I think if we all had older friends we would know more about the process of aging and maybe even avoid some very silly mistakes and not waste our very precious time.

I look forward to my older friend’s next visit.