Empower Yourself And Make The Changes You Need

June 19, 2012 by  
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Making life changing decisions is tough business.  It means letting go of something familiar and jumping into the unknown.

Even if the familiar isn’t quite right, it is still familiar, which means we have already developed coping mechanisms to deal with and to live within a certain set of circumstances.

The unknown on the other hand is just that; unknown.  It can be more pleasant or less.  But, more importantly it will require us to adapt and change.  And that is what we don’t like – a feeling of not quite knowing how to be and behave.

But, here is a secret: If we don’t do the changing on our own, life will take over and do it for us.

So, let’s practice being mature and in charge and learn how we can make tough decisions on our own:

First, if a situation doesn’t feel right or comfortable, chances are there is something amiss.  Ignoring it, it will only allow whatever it is to become more difficult.  So, let’s ask ourselves why we are not comfortable.  It is important when doing the asking to go deeper than the feeling of anger, envy, or jealousies – which are emotions that serve to masquerade others – so we can find out the truth.  Once we have our answer, we need to gather up strength, make sure the time is right, then focus and take action.

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Learning To Change

July 2, 2011 by  
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Photo by Angie Rubin

The road between the intellect and the heart when it comes to changes is a long winding road full of stops and alternate routes.

Yes, the first step is realizing we should change from being A to being B.  Second step is believing we have already changed from A to B.  Third step is the challenge.  This is when a situation will occur to test us in our resolution to change.  The greater the change the greater the challenge.  This is when we doubt if we are going down the right path because we feel uncomfortable, uncertain, and insecure, and all hell seems to be breaking lose.  But here is where we need to dig deep and reconnect with the truth that got us to think and act in a different way in the first place.  Once we do that, we have our footing.

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Video Blog – 9

August 4, 2010 by  
Filed under Video

Getting excited about changes and how to go about it.


Just Do It

May 7, 2010 by  
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I love the slogan “Just do it”.  Because if you want to make a change;  just do it. The how is what can become the issue.  So here are a few things to consider when you decide to make a change:

1                    – Tell people you trust about your decision.  Once it’s out there we feel more responsible to follow through.  Plus our friends and/or family will keep us in check.

2                    – Have a plan. If you want to lose weight, set up a plan.  If you want to stop smoking, set up a plan.  In these cases a plan can be a schedule to stick by, and actions to be taken such as: read food labels, weigh food, avoid sugar etc.  And if you want to be happier, you still need a plan like: not to indulge in negativity, to busy yourself every time you get depressed, to do something pleasurable every day etc.

3                    – Realize that only you can make the change.  Waiting for others to change things for us, just keeps us right where we are.  No one can rescue anyone.  If we don’t love ourselves and are waiting for someone to love us so we can feel whole, it will never happen.  If we are waiting for someone to strategize how to get the perfect job; that will never happen.  We need to be responsible for our own lives.  If we want to live differently and/or better it is up to us.

4                    – Don’t give up and don’t expect immediate results.  Just because we decided to change something it doesn’t mean the results will happen right after we declared to the world that we are in the process of changing.  Be diligent and be reasonable and don’t give up.

5                    – Be okay in being off balance.  We are creatures of habit.  When we decide to change something about us or our lives, every cell in our bodies wants to scream: “What the hell is going on here?”  When you feel that way, realize it is part of the change and breath through the anxiety and discomfort.


Video Blog 5 – Making The Decision To Have A Happier Life

April 12, 2010 by  
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Having a more satisfying life starts with the making the decision of being happier today.



November 8, 2009 by  
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In Rio de Janeiro, Brazil people always refer to each other as sir and ma’am and somehow it doesn’t feel stuffy but it feels respectful.  People often also say: “Stay with God” – literal translation – and as I’ve shared before my views on the existence of God veer more to human and scientific, but I still like to hear “stay with God”, because it means that person is wishing me well in the most profound way that he or she can.

Some other nice things in Rio: clapping when the sun sets on the beach, and when the moon comes up. Massage on the beach, fresh coconuts, and lots of friendly faces.

One of the bad things that I’m reminded when I’m here is the entitlement of the wealthy.  Words like thank you are seldom used when the rich deals with the poor.  The “you work for me or I’m paying you” thinking precludes people from thanking others.   The centuries of a non-existing middle class also contributes to that type of behavior.  But things are changing in the socio-economic make up of Brazil.

I spend a lot of time observing my behavior and of others.  Maybe because I write so much, but observing teaches me a lot about humanity and if I’m diligent with taking steps I can affect changes in my own behavior and life.

Lately, I have really been thinking how often we misconstrue what other people mean and think.  I’ve learned that what is important is our own intention and goal.  What do I want to accomplish?  And then follow through with that without wondering why others are doing and thinking certain things and getting stuck in that.  It isn’t because we shouldn’t be concerned about others but because it is too hard to know the intentions of every person we have to interact with on a daily basis.  We also can’t please everyone, so if our intentions are good and we are clear we should aim for our goal.

I’ve also realized how fighting to feed and support my ego can really get in my way.  So much energy can be wasted by trying to prove that I know more, that I’m better than or any other thing like that.  What a waste.  Instead of being side tracked by proving something to someone, if I use that same energy to succeed and accomplish the result, that will be proof enough and without any stress.

This stay here in Rio, while I work on the production of a feature film, will be an interesting time for me to observe how much I actually have or not changed.  Anytime we go back to the place we were born and grew up in, it becomes clearer how much or little we have actually changed.  And I’ll be certainly sharing it all here.  Looking forward.