Embracing Uncertainty

August 5, 2010 by  
Filed under Featured

Saw the below post on the Huffington  Post and wanted to share.

In the post David discusses embracing uncertainty as our most healthy state of being.  Not knowing what comes next is not a reason for fear because the uncertain future brings pleasant and not so pleasant experiences without discrimination.

It is our own need to control that causes us anxiety and pain.  If we went with the flow, living in the moment and open to what came our way,  we would be able to get more out of life’s ride.

Think about being on a roller-coaster. Often the anticipation is more anxiety producing than the event itself.

I’m not minimizing the difficulty of embracing uncertainty. It takes knowing ourselves especially our strengths.  But I am advocating for making the investment into letting go and believing in the process of life.

By David Nichtern

My taiji teacher, Sat Hon, is a virtual lexicon of sage and colorful phrases. One of my favorite expressions of his is “embrace uncertainty.” There is always uncertainty in our lives, but this saying seems particularly relevant these days. Whether we freak out or make friends with uncertainty seems to be up to us.

When we embark on a spiritual path, we are trying to learn from our lives, rather than just trying to survive or thrive on a purely materialistic level. When we see our lives as that kind of journey, it can be a good thing, periodically, to look back to see where we’ve been and look forward to see where we’re going. This kind of “view” can add valuable perspective to our journey. You take a look and then you continue along your way.

In some sense our life is like a koan — a Zen puzzle. A koan is something to think about that your mind cannot easily wrap itself around — you have to mull it over and chew on it like a dog chewing on a bone. In a way our whole life is like that — all the pieces don’t exactly fit together: “Where’s my career?” “Where’s my mate?” “Where’s my peace of mind?” “Where am I?” “Who am I?” It’s like somebody took the pieces of a puzzle and threw them on the table and now we’re supposed to put it all together… Continued


Learning To Go With The Flow

June 21, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

One of the keys to life is adaptability.  It’s the old go with the flow.

We all have plans and ideas on a daily basis on what our lives should be and look like.  But on a daily basis those thoughts have to be adjusted.  How well we can let go and adapt is the difference between stress/loss and forward movement.

Of course we should have a direction that reflects that ultimate goal we have in life.  Let’s say if you want to have a family of your own, that is an ultimate goal.  But maybe you don’t have a partner or maybe you can’t have children.  So adoption or some other kind of way to have children becomes your alternate route.  Getting stuck on, “I want to get pregnant like many other women”, represents a lack of adaptability which prevents your ultimate goal.

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Lighten Up

July 15, 2009 by  
Filed under Uncategorized

More times than we can count, someone, including ourselves, has uttered the term, “lighten up”.  Usually this would refer to a well intended parent in an effort to get a child to learn a particular lesson or a coach to a rookie player to score more frequently or a boss attempting to get better productivity from a worker.  It’s, indeed, a part of the human psyche, to accept the preconceived idea that if we bear down on an individual, he or she will coalesce with your desire.  (I’ve just reminded myself of seemingly ongoing theories about whether or not torture really works.  A premise to be discussed at another time … in another forum).

If lighten up had an antonymic counterpart, it would be go with the flow.   I think the percentages would run incredibly high on incidents that, at one time or another, had any one of us meeting “the right one” and immediately started showering them with emails and text message (those over thirty with phone calls), all sorts of “reminder gifts”, i.e. exotic flowers, concert tickets, cd’s of your potential partner’s favorite artist and nudging his or her close friends to put in a good word for you.  Come on, we have all done it, to one degree or another.  I would wager that the percentage of failure was even higher than the previously suggested number of attempts employing these over zealous acts to insure acceptance.

Like everything else in life, when we gouge, when give or take more than our rightful share … that part of our universe is bound to become imbalanced.  It’s a natural law that we nor anyone else can refute.  Of course, it’s fine to be persistent, but know when enough is enough.  You see, we often feel that we have to call most of the shots to make it happen.  This so not the case.  

We have to remember that there is at least one other entity in the mix and that they, too, have a right to participate.  The other party’s interests may manifest in ways you may have never imagined … they maybe more subliminal, more cerebral, more of what is compatible but not like you.  After all, who wants to be with someone just like you?   Don’t be offended; this makes you unique.  Learn to appreciate your intended uniqueness, as well.  In so doing, you will recognize and value yourself with a far greater depth of understanding.  So, lighten up … you can make at least two people very happy.