Marching Through Changes

June 23, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations.  ~Faith Baldwin

Change is unsettling, even if it’s for the better.

We get use to anything, even pain and hurt, and somehow what we know – even if it false – makes us feel secure and gives us some type of referential in life.

My conversation yesterday during my therapy session was about a particular change I’ve been going through the last few years.

Years ago, to cover up my insecurities, I started acting tough.  I remember going to parties and standing in a corner with an attitude that said; I’m too good for this and that’s why I’m standing here looking tough.  The truth was that I was too scared to connect with strangers.  It wasn’t that I sat down one day and decided to start acting tough, it just happened.  But I’ve always also been a very kind person so I started to live in conflict between who I was and how I was presenting myself to the world.  In my tough phase I also found people that supported my behavior.  They too were insecure.

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Shooting Ourselves In The Foot

May 6, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

running man

running man

Ego and anger go hand in hand and they are both very destructive.  I’m not talking about a sense of self when I’m referring to ego.  I’m talking about a sense of pride in the “how dare them” mentality which is just a reflection of a frail ego.  An ego that feels it needs to scream at the world to protect itself because it often feels threatened.  And I am talking about anger that covers up sadness and weakness.

We lose so many opportunities by being angry and by letting our ego speak.  We distort situations to conform to our insecurities and to prove to ourselves that we have to fight others in order to survive.

Ask yourself next time you feel attacked or angry at a situation if: 1 – Are you really being provoked and 2 – Is it really necessary to engage.  Most often the answer will be no.

Don’t waste your time fighting battles that are unnecessary.  Build up YOU and your sense of self and you’ll win the war without having to fire one shot.