Learning To Change

July 2, 2011 by  
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Photo by Angie Rubin

The road between the intellect and the heart when it comes to changes is a long winding road full of stops and alternate routes.

Yes, the first step is realizing we should change from being A to being B.  Second step is believing we have already changed from A to B.  Third step is the challenge.  This is when a situation will occur to test us in our resolution to change.  The greater the change the greater the challenge.  This is when we doubt if we are going down the right path because we feel uncomfortable, uncertain, and insecure, and all hell seems to be breaking lose.  But here is where we need to dig deep and reconnect with the truth that got us to think and act in a different way in the first place.  Once we do that, we have our footing.

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Who Amongst Us Has Not Wondered At The Power And Capacity Of Life?

July 27, 2010 by  
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Most of us are so attached to what we perceive as reality that our view of life becomes very narrow.

Robert Lanza M.D., one of the leading scientists in the world writes “Reality is determined by the observer. Biocentrism tells us space and time are merely tools of the mind…The central concept of Descartes was the primacy of consciousness, that all knowledge begins with the individual. Thus the old adage: “I think, therefore I am.”

Time, space and therefore reality depend on how we, the observer, feel and process experience.  Therefore our existence is dependent on our intellectual and emotional landscape.

Life is truly personal but yet somehow we are determined to use general concepts created by ad-agencies of happiness, success, well-being to measure ourselves against.  In these sale pitches, happiness and success are often seen as material achievement and unrealistic relationships.

“…we must understand how we perceive the world. Indeed, how do we see when the brain is locked inside a vault of bone? How does our mind turn information into something so real that few people realize the images we ‘see’ are constructed inside our head?” – Robert Lanza M.D.

Life’s journey starts within us.  It is a path of self-knowledge.  Love is not born once we meet someone we fancy.  It already exists in us.  It will also not die if he or she is no longer in our lives.  Understanding that the love we share with others is actually ours is part of chiseling away the misconceptions we acquire through misguided living.

A friend recently said to me: “I so admire your even-temperedness in dealing with life.  I’m sure you are thankful for it but not necessarily by how you came to it.”  He was referring to my losing my husband.  I don’t know if he is right or not but I do know we don’t need to go through a loss to embrace how much life is our authorship.  Shit does happen but how we experience it, it’s up to us.

When at times I feel unhappy and stuck I ask myself; would I still be feeling this way if I was in a loving relationship?  If I was successful?  I let my mind wonder in these different scenarios but if I’m honest with my myself most often the answer is yes, I would still be feeling the same way because my well-being is not dependent on success or someone else.  Through this little exercise I put myself through it becomes clear the answer to my unquiet heart is in me.

Well-being is dependent of personal contentment which is a result of a close relationship with the self.

So the good news is enjoying our experience in life is up to us.  The bad news is…I don’t know J


Embrace Grief

April 13, 2010 by  
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Sorrow makes us all children again – destroys all differences of intellect.  The wisest know nothing.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson



It is said there is no bigger regret as the one when we lose someone dear to us without telling how much we loved them    or having shared with them as much as possible.

After having had many troubled relationships, when I met my husband I knew how blessed I was to have met him and I told him that as often as possible.  When he passed there was only the sorrow of having lost him. I embraced my pain with courage as I knew I had to give it a voice.

Grief humbled and demanded my attention to the life I still have.  No to squander it in petty feelings and thoughts.  I have the past in my heart but I don’t live in it. I would not be honoring the love I have within me for my husband if I did so.  I do not think of the future as I know it changes with every thought or action I take in the present.

Grief has inspired me to reach out and make my existence truly mean something to me.

In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing.  ~Robert Ingersoll