Embracing Resilience

November 29, 2011 by  
Filed under Featured

Even though Thanksgiving is behind us, I wanted to share the below post with you.

“A Lesson in Resilience” discusses developing a positive attitude to change and obstacles using the pilgrims as an example.

Life is made out of good moments and not so good moments.  Of course if it was up to us there would be no bad moments.  But it isn’t.  And so the next best thing we can do for ourselves is to create and live an attitude that will help us navigate the ups and downs.

I believe the first step to embracing life in all its colors, is by limiting our judgment on the situation at hand.  It is easy when something bad happens to feel victimized or as if we are the only ones that go through pain and suffering.  Once we are able to do that, next comes taking the stigma out of “bad” and looking for the growth and the wisdom the situation brings.  Third would be dealing with whatever is happening in a calm and objective way.  It really isn’t personal – it is life.  Next is never losing sight that life is always in flux.  Whatever is happening good or bad will give birth to a new way of being.

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Learning To Set Limits

June 8, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

our orchidsNow that’s a hard one if you are like me.  Setting limits without anger or fear means we respect ourselves enough to say “yes” to certain things and “no” to others.

I’ve always had a hard time doing that because I have always preferred to suck it up than to confront others and risk arguments or ill feelings.  And because I am someone with a great amount of personal resilience, I’ve done some heavy duty sucking up.

But as I dig into who I am and the life I want to live, I realize that at the bottom of my sucking up is a deep seeded feeling that I have no rights.  It doesn’t matter where that comes from.  It matters how I am going to deal with the feelings now.  So I ask myself, why the needs of others – right or wrong – take prevalence over mine?  And I realize that if I don’t look out for myself (read: respect) why would I expect others to do so?

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Moving Through Grief

May 20, 2010 by  
Filed under Blog

When we lose a partner one of the things we also lose is a sense of belonging.  We go from being a team to being an individual.  Sometimes we can even feel disoriented like everyone else has a place to go to except us.  Or that the world is spinning fast and we can barely keep our balance.

This phase happens when we start stepping back into the world.  When we feel we would like to see what else is in the world for us.  This is a delicate time because being frightened can send us into a shell.

During this time it is important to realize 1 – Life as it was is over, and 2 – We have decided to fully experience life again.

Don’t worry about not remembering our loved ones that are no longer here.  We will always remember.  We will always love.  And we will always miss.  But all in a different way.  All giving space to love again.  Because that is what life is: love, resilience, wisdom, experience.

So when you feel off balance take a deep breath and stop thinking.  Go back within and tell yourself you are okay.  Tell yourself one step at a time.