The Difference Between Loneliness And Solitude

December 14, 2011 by  
Filed under Blog

Being solitary is being alone well: being alone luxuriously immersed in doings of your own choice, aware of the fullness of your won presence rather than of the absence of others. Because solitude is an achievement – Alice Koller



Although loneliness and solitude are often thought to be the same experience, nothing could be further from the truth.

Loneliness manifests itself as a sense of emptiness and isolation while solitude creates a sense of communion with the self.

In loneliness we ache.  In solitude we feast. In loneliness we have no one.  In solitude we are one with the self.

It is in solitude that we learn to hear our own voice, to recognize and appease the pain and to celebrate who we are.

In solitude we clear out the clutter.  We ask and answer such questions as: What’s really important to me?  What do I really want?

It is also we solitude that we provide ourselves with simple and meaningful joys.

The only way to end loneliness is through solitude because we are never alone if we are connected to ourselves.

So how do we come to create and appreciate solitude?  By taking the time to be by ourselves, to relax and to listen to what really is going on within us.  It is also by soothing ourselves with simple activities such as: a bath, a glass of wine, music or meditation.

Solitude is precious time with the self.  It is where we plan our next steps.


Give Peace A Chance

January 13, 2011 by  
Filed under Featured


By Bob Holof

On December 8, 2010, about a month earlier, the world memorialized John Lennon on the 30th anniversary of his murder. Lennon was the most famous member of the Beatles, partly because of his composing talent and mostly for his stand against violence. GIVE PEACE A CHANCE was his song and his prayer, and defined his association with the principal that civility was the answer to a great number of the world’s problems. His death at the hands of an armed assassin was horrible and ironic.

At the time of his death, and at the many worldwide memorials held a month ago, I remember how surprised I was by how easily everyone seemed to slip into the comforting illusion that this was the act of one demented individual and how unable or unwilling people were to connect the dots. We were living in a violent world where leaders and prominent supporters incited violent acts. Some demented people would hear these words and see these images and go over the edge and commit these acts.

To me it was clear that with prominence comes responsibility and prominent people should be toning down, not ramping up the violence and they should be separating themselves from those supporters who sprinkle their political, religious, or personal pronouncements with words that could incite violence.

Now a month later, after the mayhem in Arizona, perhaps chastened by the fact that this violence put them in personal danger, many of our leaders spoke of toning down the rhetoric. Others, however, took great care to refer to this as a random act by a single demented individual and made it clear that they did not think incitement to violence had anything to do with this massacre.

I don’t think anything is served by pointing to Sarah Palin’s target map or anything said by Glen Beck as the direct cause of this violence, but neither of them have followed the lead of Don Imus who admitted to having said on more than one occasion when speaking of someone he disrespected, “He should be shot” and his pledge to never say that or anything like that again.

In the 30 years since John Lennon died tens of thousands of people have been murdered in this country by violent people. Oklahoma City, Ft. Hood, the World Trade Center, made the headlines, but still few of those who could exert influence in words and deeds took the time to censor themselves and refrain from saying or doing anything that could ramp up the atmosphere of violence that pervades us. Lennon’s message of love has not been heeded.

There is an art to persuasion without rancor. It is time we learned it. If not, no one is safe.